Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wait a minute..I thought all Boomers were hoarding money by staying in their
house purchased with the low interest rates when they were young teens- that have now made them all wildly rich, preventing everyone else from owning any property ever. Oh, and taunting everyone with it.

So, no, it turns out it's not a thing? Oh.

Many are! The rest are out spending like there's no tomorrow and expecting their kids to pick up the tab.

If they are spending it is because they have the money, so no one is picking up the tab, and because it isn't a crime to spend their own money. And no, they didn't game the system- they paid the same dues, no low interesr rates 20 , 30 years ago, and it took both salaries and 35 + years of work to qualify. It's nice if there is an inheritance, but it shouldn't be assumed.
This thread subject is more realistic. Many Boomers are not sitting in the lap of luxury and it isn't because they were reckless. They never had all this supposed wealth .

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wait a minute..I thought all Boomers were hoarding money by staying in their
house purchased with the low interest rates when they were young teens- that have now made them all wildly rich, preventing everyone else from owning any property ever. Oh, and taunting everyone with it.

So, no, it turns out it's not a thing? Oh.

Many are! The rest are out spending like there's no tomorrow and expecting their kids to pick up the tab.

I see both around me: some made great financial decisions, helped their young adult kids financially to various extents, are now retired with plenty of savings. Then there are the ones who always spent irresponsibly, will have to work forever and/or expect their kids to bail them out. My in-laws are the latter and are incredibly resentful of relatives who made better choices and so bitter.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wait a minute..I thought all Boomers were hoarding money by staying in their
house purchased with the low interest rates when they were young teens- that have now made them all wildly rich, preventing everyone else from owning any property ever. Oh, and taunting everyone with it.

So, no, it turns out it's not a thing? Oh.

Many are! The rest are out spending like there's no tomorrow and expecting their kids to pick up the tab.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wait a minute..I thought all Boomers were hoarding money by staying in their
house purchased with the low interest rates when they were young teens- that have now made them all wildly rich, preventing everyone else from owning any property ever. Oh, and taunting everyone with it.

So, no, it turns out it's not a thing? Oh.

Many are! The rest are out spending like there's no tomorrow and expecting their kids to pick up the tab.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The financial gift my parents gave me was breaking the cycle. They are the sandwich generation in our family. They both grew up lower middle class and were completely on their own at 18. Still, they managed to pay for my siblings and me to go to college and professional/grad school, they supported each of their parents for a long time, and they have their own retirement adequately funded. I am very aware of the hard work and sacrifices they made to set up my generation for an easier life, and I’ve modeled my own life after them and saved aggressively for my retirement and the kids’ college.

I also can also relate to OP because DH is sandwiched in his family to provide for his parents, save for his own retirement and (help me) provide for our kids. It is a HUGE source of contention. I have to battle him over how to prioritize spending/saving MY income (him asking me to save less for the kids’ college or retirement, effectively so he can give more to his parents). It’s just terrible to ask/expect your children to provide for you in your old age as it affects them, their spouse and their children.

There is not an easy answer, but if OP works, then just carveout savings for things like a house down payment, college and retirement, and figure out how to make the rest work net of those priorities.

You just said your parents were sandwiched caring for their parents and you and your siblings. Yet you can’t understand your Dh wants to help his parents.

This is not an uncommon marital disagreement. Dh and I don’t argue about it but I have multiple friends who do.

Anonymous wrote:Wait a minute..I thought all Boomers were hoarding money by staying in their
house purchased with the low interest rates when they were young teens- that have now made them all wildly rich, preventing everyone else from owning any property ever. Oh, and taunting everyone with it.

So, no, it turns out it's not a thing? Oh.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Old people want to age in place and stay in their houses and that's fair.

What's not fair is when they were young people who bought a luxury house on credit they can't afford, and tryd to scam their kid to pay for it.

I don’t think they are scamming kids.

My dad can no longer care for himself. He doesn’t want to go to a nursing home and wants to stay home. My elderly mom, brother and 2 home aids take care of him at home. He is not scamming anyone. He wants to die at home.

He is scamming others if he isn't paying for it himself.

Taking food from his grandchildrens mouths to pay for this is scamming them.

I think it teaches family values. My children have watched me care for my parents. We have given up family vacations to visit my parents. We have visited both my mom and dad in the hospital and rehab center and when they return home.

I hope that my children will visit me and take care of me when I’m old.

I’m alswayz surprised how selfish and disloyal people can be towards their family. Of course there are exceptions if there was abuse but these are the people who gave you life and raised you.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Old people want to age in place and stay in their houses and that's fair.

What's not fair is when they were young people who bought a luxury house on credit they can't afford, and tryd to scam their kid to pay for it.

I don’t think they are scamming kids.

My dad can no longer care for himself. He doesn’t want to go to a nursing home and wants to stay home. My elderly mom, brother and 2 home aids take care of him at home. He is not scamming anyone. He wants to die at home.

He is scamming others if he isn't paying for it himself.

Taking food from his grandchildrens mouths to pay for this is scamming them.

I think it teaches family values. My children have watched me care for my parents. We have given up family vacations to visit my parents. We have visited both my mom and dad in the hospital and rehab center and when they return home.

I hope that my children will visit me and take care of me when I’m old.

I’m alswayz surprised how selfish and disloyal people can be towards their family. Of course there are exceptions if there was abuse but these are the people who gave you life and raised you.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Old people want to age in place and stay in their houses and that's fair.

What's not fair is when they were young people who bought a luxury house on credit they can't afford, and tryd to scam their kid to pay for it.

I don’t think they are scamming kids.

My dad can no longer care for himself. He doesn’t want to go to a nursing home and wants to stay home. My elderly mom, brother and 2 home aids take care of him at home. He is not scamming anyone. He wants to die at home.

He is scamming others if he isn't paying for it himself.

Taking food from his grandchildrens mouths to pay for this is scamming them.

I think it teaches family values. My children have watched me care for my parents. We have given up family vacations to visit my parents. We have visited both my mom and dad in the hospital and rehab center and when they return home.

I hope that my children will visit me and take care of me when I’m old.

I’m alswayz surprised how selfish and disloyal people can be towards their family. Of course there are exceptions if there was abuse but these are the people who gave you life and raised you.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Old people want to age in place and stay in their houses and that's fair.

What's not fair is when they were young people who bought a luxury house on credit they can't afford, and tryd to scam their kid to pay for it.

I don’t think they are scamming kids.

My dad can no longer care for himself. He doesn’t want to go to a nursing home and wants to stay home. My elderly mom, brother and 2 home aids take care of him at home. He is not scamming anyone. He wants to die at home.

He is scamming others if he isn't paying for it himself.

Taking food from his grandchildrens mouths to pay for this is scamming them.

I think it teaches family values. My children have watched me care for my parents. We have given up family vacations to visit my parents. We have visited both my mom and dad in the hospital and rehab center and when they return home.

I hope that my children will visit me and take care of me when I’m old.

I’m alswayz surprised how selfish and disloyal people can be towards their family. Of course there are exceptions if there was abuse but these are the people who gave you life and raised you.

Anonymous wrote:The financial gift my parents gave me was breaking the cycle. They are the sandwich generation in our family. They both grew up lower middle class and were completely on their own at 18. Still, they managed to pay for my siblings and me to go to college and professional/grad school, they supported each of their parents for a long time, and they have their own retirement adequately funded. I am very aware of the hard work and sacrifices they made to set up my generation for an easier life, and I’ve modeled my own life after them and saved aggressively for my retirement and the kids’ college.

I also can also relate to OP because DH is sandwiched in his family to provide for his parents, save for his own retirement and (help me) provide for our kids. It is a HUGE source of contention. I have to battle him over how to prioritize spending/saving MY income (him asking me to save less for the kids’ college or retirement, effectively so he can give more to his parents). It’s just terrible to ask/expect your children to provide for you in your old age as it affects them, their spouse and their children.

There is not an easy answer, but if OP works, then just carveout savings for things like a house down payment, college and retirement, and figure out how to make the rest work net of those priorities.