Reply to Raising kids in a competitive UMC community? Would you do it all over again?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I reach the same conclusion every time I read one of these threads, which is that you all need better friends.  It's not where you live - its who you choose to spend your time with.[/quote]

+1 I haven't experienced this. I have one in college and a HS senior. I think it's friends AND mindset. [/quote]

I really don’t get this.  Have you all never lived outside the DC area?  It’s a big country and it’s absolutely variable in terms of the pace of life.  Maybe if you haven’t lived in other places, you don’t realize how different the northeast is generally.  Places have different vibes, whether it’s east coast/west coast, southeast vs Midwest vs northeast, urban vs rural.  And yes, some places are more competitive, driven and job/work oriented than others.  None of this is a knock on DC or other fast paced areas!  It doesn’t mean people in more fast paced areas aren’t nice.  It’s just not for everyone.[/quote]

You misunderstand. Of course DC or the Bay Area (where I grew up) or another city/town is not for everyone. The point of the OP is that raising kids in a competitive UMC is somehow detrimental or exhausting. Seeing that this is DCUM, I assume a place like Chevy Chase (where I reside) is the kind of place OP is talking about. Some people might find it unbearable because of what OP feels is inherent competitiveness. Others, like me, do not because I don't find it inherently competitive. I don't have my head buried, but I'm too caught up in what's right for our family to generally care about my neighbors' choices. I have many friends here and find that we can celebrate each others' accomplishments. I also generally believe through trial/error that you usually take your problems with you. You need to fix the problem (mindset) not the circumstances.

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I’m not misunderstanding anything.  You seem to think that the only people who would find a place like Chevy Chase competitive have “problems” or are too wrapped up in “neighbor’s choices” and that’s the only reason they would find an area competitive and not their vibe. I flatly disagree.  Places have different feels to them, and it is totally ok to decide that a place is too goal oriented/fast paced/job oriented or whatever for your family’s tastes. It doesn’t mean you are insecure, it doesn’t mean there is a problem that needs to be fixed, it doesn’t mean you don’t have friends.  We are so much happier with where we have moved to.  Had great friends before, have great friends now.  That was never the issue. But I absolutely like that where my kids live now, their peers and their schools are less of a pressure cooker. [/quote]

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