Reply to I HATE the suburbs and have a chance to leave. This is long..more experienced parents help?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I don't understand what is wrong with chain restaurants and coffee shops. They have all grown to be chains because what they offered was good.[/quote]

It’s a lot of the same food - Chili’s is not that different than Applebee’s. But neither has Thai food or (as I ordered tonight from my city home) Pho. If you want fine dining or a menu that doesn’t have a chicken finger option you can’t go to a chain.[/quote]

Good grief.  The best Pho you can get (delivered or pick it up yourself) is in the suburbs of DC.  Some of you are insufferable.[/quote]

I didn't say you can't get Pho in the suburbs. I was responding to someone who asked why people are always knocking on chain restaurants. I think the knock is that they are very similar, not that they are bad, but if you want something different you don't go to a chain. [/quote]
OP here- as I go through all these comments I realize I just REALLY like being part of my community. [b]Living in the city for the first 26 years of my life I knew our butcher, the local diner owner, the bartenders at the pubs, the neighborhood grandma that owns the Italian deli, the ramen shop owner whose kids were always helping around the restaurant, the owner of the independent book store who gives back SO much to the local kids. [/b]I still go back and pop in those places and they ask about my kids, how my parents are, say they remember when I was first allowed to walk to those places with friends, etc. It's nothing like walking into a Chilis, having a bored teen as your waitress, and eating crappy deep fried food. [/quote]

This isn’t unique to living in a city.  It’s unique to NOT living in a soulless suburb.

I live in a small town and have a local butcher, farmers market, can walk/bike to parks, an independent book store where we always buy kid birthday parties, etc.  No chains since they aren’t allowed.  Actually we do have a CVS and that was controversial.

I do find city people a bit delusional about chains. They eat at sweetgreen and can’t understand that it’s a chain. [/quote]

This isn't meant to be a city vs suburb debate.  OP has a real decision to make about an actual piece of property in a neighborhood that she's lived in, in a building where her grandparents still live.  Sure if that wasn't an option she could and should consider a wide variety of potential new neighborhoods, but in her reply above she's citing actual places that she knows and would be returning to.  [/quote]

+1. OP is asking about a specific opportunity - not generally whether city or suburbs are better, nor which type of suburb is better. She didn't suggest that she has the choice to relocate to a different suburb that may be a better fit. OP has replied throughout this thread with so many good reasons why she should return to the city. To be closer to family, return to a community they're both already established in, etc. Chicago is a fundamentally different city than DC. I lived there pre-kids, so the school situation is totally unfamiliar to me, but the Chicago posters have said it can be stressful, but manageable. Plus high school is far off for them. Seems like a once in a lifetime opportunity for OP, and I'd jump on it! [/quote]

I think the chicago closer-in suburb posters are responding to what OP says she doesn’t like and her concerns — what comes across most is lack of community…and going from 5 bedrooms to 1400 sq ft with two kids. That’s tough. We live in a close in north shore suburb that has neighborhood block parties, cocktail parties, summer happy hours, walkable to train station (30 min to downtown chicago) tons of farmers markets and street festivals, etc, and great schools. It feels like the best of both worlds. We do occasionally go into the zoo / museums with kids as well. We have been into the city for concerts/date nights every couple of months. We had many friends that lived in the city with kids (and we did as well pre-kids), but they have all recently moved for space, schools and safety…so can’t always count on network not moving either. It’s easy to idealize your life pre-kids in the city - but would take a hard look at how it would work in reality and what the real trade off for your quality of life is.[/quote]

This is all true. There are certainly downsides that will come with a move back to the city. When I lived in Chicago I remember overhearing some moms talking about the tests for magnet admission. They were SO stressed and I can only imagine that trickles to their kids. BUT we are debating a very specific scenario for OP. A chance to go back to where she grew up and be close to family, a support system, and a community she loved/loves. If this was a suburb vs city debate with none of the other factors I would probably also say a close-in suburb could be ideal. I live in one in DC and truly do think it is the best of all worlds for many if you can swing it. But, alas OP has a very specific situation and the negatives that come with city living are probably outweighed by the built in community she has rather than trying to rebuild that in a close-in suburb with a new mortgage rate. That would make no sense. The option she has is city with a place to live.[/quote]

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