Reply to Husband’s texts when I was out of town

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I think your husband is an AH, but I also think your conversation with the kids was inappropriate for elementary kids.

Kids - we watched X show with Daddy! 
You to kids - How fun! I’ll have to catch to you, don’t tell me what happens! 
You to spouse - Hey, kids said they watched X show. I was watching that with them. Can you hold off on watching any more episodes before I get home? Sorry I didn’t tell you that be fire I left. [/quote]

OP here

Yes I totally agree that would have been the best way to handle it. I regretted that I said something to them, although they were like whatever cool he was not. [b]I did mean to talk with him before I left. He stayed out until midnight and I had to crash for the flight, then it slipped my mind while packing to call.[/b][/quote]

OP, it's an episode of a tv show. Do you realize how trivial that is? That it is a big thing in your life or that you are using it as one with your kids in the middle is concerning.

These power dynamics and need to control on your part are not changed by separating, as you literally learned. Find a DBT therapist and work on you, do not mention DH at all.

I was once you and I also found coda useful.

You are externalizing your emotional regulation to keep the dynamic going and probably because you are not neurotypical either. Work on you.  [/quote]

It is not a big thing in my life. I realized once it came out of my mouth that I needed to address with DH — let him know what I said and head off the inevitable drama. I forgot and this is what happened.

I will look into CODA. Already have a DBT therapist, she’s very good. She has not recommended DBT or CBT for me. She is mainly focused on trying to get me not to minimize what’s going on. She clearly thinks the marriage is abusive and that I’ve stuffed my anger down to cope.

[/quote]

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