Reply to Husband’s texts when I was out of town

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Are you the “touch the table” couple?  Just divorce already![/quote]

Who was this? Must have missed that thread.

Re: your post, OP, I would have let this go re: the tv show. I'd also be careful thinking co-parenting with him is going to greatly change your quality of life.

What diagnoses if any do the kids have? Kids with anxiety, ADHD and ASD do especially poorly with shuttling, I can attest. [/quote]

OP here. Kids have anxiety and ADHD.

We already tried a separation. There was no improvement in my quality of life. He harassed and threatened me during it, including screaming in my face. That’s why I am trying in therapy.[/quote]

Oh my. I would divorce. Process is ugly but worth it. [/quote]

I'm so sorry to hear this OP.

I think you need to bite the bullet, get your ducks in order, and prepare for divorce.

Your DH sounds beyond reasonable. Are you really doing your kids any good letting them see this situation? What do you think your DH said to them when he was so angry about your comments about the TV show? I find it hard to believe that he could hide his feelings about you from them.

Divorce will be incredibly painful at first, but it will get better. In the long run, you and your kids will be better. They should not be in this situation. It's not healthy for anyone. Even if you think you're hiding it from the kids, trust me, you are not. They know there's a problem. [/quote]

He used to be more trigger happy with them as well. I explained to him very bluntly after our oldest wrote an essay in second grade at school about how he said some mean things to her that hurt her feelings that the next essay would be about how he hurt her when he grabbed her, and CPS would be here. We also did a parenting class. Since then he has calmed down a lot.

He is in general fine with the kids. He says he does not want to do the “grey work” of cooking, driving etc. He likes to be the dad who spoils them and says yes. Fine, whatever — I cannot change that. There is some yelling when he is triggered but it’s not enough to change custody. I have checked. He will get 50/50. Another reason I am reluctant to exit quickly.

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