Reply to 15 year old hanging with adults all night- is this normal?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote]I have a 16 yo DS and I don't drag him to family outings where I know he won't have peers to engage with. I either leave him at home to do what he wants or he makes plans to hang out with his friends.[/quote]

From your answer, it would appear that you DS lives with you full time.

This girl is 15 and sees her father every other weekend. In this situation, it is NOT, IMO, reasonable to expect her to stay at home alone. It's probable that she can't spend the evening with friends because the friends live near mom, not dad. She may not have any friends who live with walking/biking distance of dad's house. Plus, she's not old enough to drive herself, so she'd have to rely on dad. And if dad wants to have dinner with friends and drink wine, he's probably not going to want to drink and drive back and forth to mom's neighborhood twice in the same evening.

If he does leave her home alone, it's also possible she's going to say "Why do I have to spend my weekend with you instead of with my friends if you're just going to leave me home alone? " It's also possible that her mother will say the same..."Seriously, you insist she has to come to your house for the weekend and then you leave her home alone for 4 hours on Saturday night?"

So, OP can either socialize with dad and stepmom on weekends D is with mom OR be more understanding. 
[/quote]

But OP didn't have a problem with the daughter being in the house. She had a problem with the daughter inserting herself into the adult conversation all night. If the daughter had come over with her dad, made some small talk and entertained herself with a screen or with the 11 yo, all would've been well.

But fair point about the split custody time. I think dad should've been a bit more thoughtful here and made sure his daughter made plans with friends while he was at OP's house or sent his DD off once she overstayed her welcome in the adult conversation.[/quote]

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