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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Look at Michael J. Fox and his wife. He was stricken by Parkinson's Disease. His wife stayed with him. He had to change courses in his life.

OP marriage is in sickness and in health, richer or poorer, til death do you part. When you exchange those vows, you should be prepared for almost anything happening. That's what a commitment means.

If you can't make that commitment, then don't. Why not have a prenup that is fair to both husband and wife? Unless your wife cheats on you or abuses you in some way, you're both making the financial decisions for you to be the primary breadwinner. If you don't want that, then find a woman who will continue working. [/quote]

DP. Glad you brought up the fact that we cannot predict what life is going to hand us that is totally outside our control -- like our spouse, ourselves, or our child be stricken with a condition, a disease, being injured in an accident and forever changed. It really does happen.

OP sounds like someone who might consider his "deal" with his wife void if she were impaired. He's already concerned about the idea of her being an SAHM. He's already fixated on what percentage of his fat income she now earns and how that isn't enough. Imagine if she developed Parkinson's, or had a stroke (young people do indeed have strokes), or were injured irrevocably in an accident, or, or, or....Would OP see her as a drain on the finances and a roadblock to the lifestyle they expected?

Actual love for the person, as opposed to an interest mostly in sexual availability and financial lifestyle, means being willing to stay and chart a new course as a team. I know someone who suddenly became seriously disabled in his mid-40s and his spouse has been an incredible rock, and is caregiver and chauffeur, cheerleader and thorn in the side when needed, because they are a team no matter what. I do not see OP being that level of spouse, if he is this focused on "what about ME" before they are even married. So, OP, picture your fiancee if she were ill, or disabled, possibly for life, and ask yourself bluntly if you would stay with her and work out who you are as a couple, no matter what. If you cannot say you are committed in that way, let her go now.[/quote]

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