Reply to Nanny share situation has ruined one of my few friendships

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Reply to "Nanny share situation has ruined one of my few friendships "

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[quote=Anonymous]Sometimes someone does something that makes me realize that we have fundamental differences that are too great to sustain a true friendship. I would absolutely feel that way in this case . . . if my friend was so oblivious to how this would turn out and so entitled that she didn't see the need to ask me as the nanny's co-boss before acting unilaterally, I'd probably end or pull back on the friendship too. Friendships are built on trust, and how can I trust someone with bad judgment who doesn't respect/think of me?

OP, are you one of those people with a history of relationships blowing up? My MIL's husband is constantly getting fired or kicked out of churches (I know, how often does that happen?!), and it's always someone else's fault. He's currently gotten MIL estranged from her siblings. It's really painful to listen to her explanations of why this "unfair" thing happened to him when obviously he is the common denominator. He has poor judgment, he's fairly self-centered, and he has a victim mentality. He's definitely not someone I would trust with something important to me, like managing my child's care.

I'm not saying these are all of your issues because I think you are more capable than this guy. But I do wonder if you have not developed your capacity for empathy very deeply. You come across as someone who has developed a very thick skin in order to get ahead, but it's coming back to bite you with employees who may fear you but don't respect you. And when things go south, you blame others or circumstances rather than looking inward. These are all things you can work on, if you are willing. But as to the immediate issue with your friend, I think that you need to apologize sincerely and acknowledge the error in acting unilaterally and how terrible it is that you have forced her to find new childcare arrangements. Anything less will get you written off as clueless, entitled, etc.[/quote]

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