Reply to Strategy for having multiple children as an older lower energy FTM

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I’m one of two and now caring for aging parents and I so so grateful for my brother who is my partner in this endeavor. I would be drowning without both his help with tasks but also without his emotional support. Having someone who shares your history and same level of love for your parents is such a comfort. We were not close growing up and now live far apart but the core has always been there and we are a fantastic team in this. As I see our social safety nets fraying coupled with a shortage of actual people to provide care, I am really glad I didn’t stop at one. I have no idea what people who don’t have someone younger to help them do? Even with money it is a complicated, minefield IF you can find someone to help or a place to go. There is no guarantee that your kids will help you or each other but if you don’t have them then you are gonna be on your own if you are lucky/unlucky enough to live a long time. [/quote]

I’m glad your brother has been so helpful but I have the opposite experience. My brother is an alcoholic and the amount of money than my parents have spent trying to support him has actively hurt their retirement. Not only can I not rely on him for help with our elderly parents, caring for him is an even tougher burden (I still love him, of course). So not only if there zero guarantee you’ll have help, there’s the possibility that a sibling may make things actively harder. And before anyone judges, my parents were supportive and loving and did nothing to “cause” his alcoholism. [/quote]

DP - I'm in a virtually identical situation, PP, though it's my sister (and only sibling) who is addicted to alcohol.  To say she makes things actively harder is an understatement.  She also has a daughter for whom my parents (mostly my mom) provide, to complicate the situation.  I'm hoping like hell my mom lives until my niece is 18.  My dad struggles financially in part due to the years he spent paying my sister's rent, for which she is wholly ungrateful.  It sucks.[/quote]

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