Reply to DH Can’t Stand Having Two Kids… 2 Years Later

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]It’s interesting how deep intensive parenting Stockholm Syndrome is when parents would rather advocate faking it than questioning the tenets of intensive parenting. Or advocate for only a select few to have children. I mean, really?

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She said he sighs and mopes after more than 10 min. with his kid. That’s hardly “intensive parenting.” Also, the little kid stage doesn’t last that long. He needs to be a grownup and make some sacrifices for a few years while his kids are little. It’s not a life sentence. He’ll be able to have adult conversations and whatever on the not too distant future when he no longer has a toddler. He shouldn’t make his unrealistic expectations of parenthood his kids’ problem.[/quote]

In what realm is 5-7 years not a long time? That’s a sentence for manslaughter. With two kids going through different stages that’s what your looking at. [/quote]

Cutting back on hobbies and having adult time once the kids go to bed/scheduling a sitter for 5-7 year of your life so that you can invest in your relationship with your kids is just not that big of a sacrifice. We’re not talking about kids with profound lifelong needs here. Also I don’t see why he can’t still have interactions with adults. My DH is friends with other dads and they plan father-son outings together (hikes, pickup sports games, park play dates, etc.). When the kids are entertained with friends it’s easier for the dads to hang out. That is easier when the kids are a bit older (like at least 4), but before then he used to put on a podcast and take them out on long walks in the stroller. Just incorporate your kids into your life, it’s not that hard. Or get a gym membership that has childcare.[/quote]

It is that hard for some people. Smugness is just mean.

Not liking parenting might not be depression, but if he never has a good time with them, there may be more going on. I have three and my oldest has special needs, but we have good moments and periods every day.[/quote]

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