Reply to How to drop the rope re mental load?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]NP and omg my DH is the same way and it drives me nuts. I just tried some of the suggested responses in this thread and it went about as well as you would expect:

DH: (storms into the room) "Do you know where the light bulbs are?"
Me: "No, did you look for them?"
[b]DH: (already frustrated) "Well I'm not trying to look a million places if you know where they are!"[/b]
Me: "Okay, so where have you looked so far?"
DH: (now pissed) "I didn't look anywhere yet, okay?!"
Me: "Okay, well I don't know either"
DH: (Haphazardly rummages through a couple drawers barely looking and storms off)

I can't do this forever. Biding my time until I can leave him.[/quote]

This. Why do they think their time is more valuable that they dont even need to try? Why do they think we are admin assistants?
[/quote]

Yeah heaven forbid he should interrupt you from poking at your phone or watching an important TiKTok.  :roll: [/quote]

Here is the thing. Pre-WOHMs when most mothers were SAHMs and responsible for the house and children only, waiting on your husband hand and foot was your contribution to the family unit. The male worked, the female cleaned the house, took care of the children, made the food, did the grocery shopping, etc.

That is over for most couples now. Women work that is their contribution. Men work that is their contribution. What remains to be split and divided up is the household and children. Your insinuation that women- when they arent working FT jobs- are watching TikTok and/or on their phone while at home sounds like a personal problem. It is just another criticism of the "bored housewife" type but nothing could be further from the truth. Here is another tidibit for you: women are allowed to stop. They are allowed to take breaks, even when the kids are awake. They are allowed to interact with others and zone out for a bit. You sound like the type that wants mothers to bear the cross all day and only stop to put it down to sleep.

"The differences in workload are apparent in measures of the time men and women spend on household chores. According to Bureau of Labor Statistics data, women overall spent an average of two hours and 13 minutes on chores daily, compared with one hour and 21 minutes for men in 2013 (the most recent year for which data is available). In households with two full-time working parents, the gap is somewhat smaller: Full-time working mothers spent just under two hours a day on “household activities” while full-time working fathers spent about an hour and 18 minutes on them, according to the BLS.

Even when men and women are not working, their division of labor differs. Men are likely to watch more television when they are out of work, while women will likely spend more time caring for others. Not surprisingly, the American Psychological Association found that women reported higher levels of stress than men.

In addition, the Working Mother study found that several of the chores men tend to pick up, like mowing the lawn, landscaping, car washing, car maintenance and doing the taxes, are among the chores families are most likely to outsource.

There is also a difference in the quality of work men and women take on, according to the survey. Men’s chores tend to have a finite endpoint—it is obvious when the garbage cans have been taken out. Women, though, take on the bulk of the planning activities, like children’s health care, birthday parties and vacation planning, in addition to chores like cooking and cleaning."

Things are improving generationally but only because of society changing. This sounds like someone who still thinks its Leave it to Beaver. [/quote]

TL;DR a lot of BS excuses for why you should be allowed to poke at your phone and watch TikToks instead of interact with your husband.[/quote]

"ALLOWED" hahahahhahahahahaha okay incel[/quote]

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