Reply to If you forgave infidelity, how did you do it?

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Reply to "If you forgave infidelity, how did you do it?"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Yeah Esther Perel is problematic for me. I agree with some of her observations about monogamy being at odds with our programming, but I think she really doesn't get the trauma aspect of being cheated on. For however long the cheating has been going on, your reality has been a lie, served up on a platter by the person you trusted most. It cuts very deep.

Look, obviously no romantic partner is perfect. Every relationship has areas for improvement. But implying or outright stating that cheating is a result of those problems really lets the cheater off the hook. Your life isn't going to be perfect every second. It's on you to have healthy coping mechanisms and communication skills. "Oh sorry boss, I know I stole from the company, but you were expecting too much of me, so let's talk about that instead."

"I couldn't figure out how to talk to you about hard stuff without traumatizing you, blowing up our relationship, and exposing you to STDs . . . you understand, right? I mean, you NEVER wash the dishes like you say you will . . ." [/quote]

Exactly. And what the op who would theoretically stay with the cheater doesn’t understand is that if they are cheating on sex it’s very typical that they are lying about other parts of themselves and the relationship. And it never ends. For some people it is a slip up. For others a lifestyle. [/quote]

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