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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]The problem is - and every woman has experienced this - is that we start dating a guy who says he’s really into us and is looking for a relationship. Then we sleep with him, and suddenly he disappears. Or he stops putting in any effort and just wants to be f*ck buddies. Or in some other way makes it clear he just wanted sex.

Because it’s so hard to tell which men genuinely like us and which just want to get laid, we have to come up with things like “don’t sleep with them for 3 months”. It really sucks to get emotionally invested in someone and believe there’s a future, when they have a different idea. It’s not playing games, it’s to keep us from getting hurt (and from getting STDs, since guys like that are likely sleeping with other women, too).

It would be one thing if these guys were upfront and let us know they didn’t want a relationship, or weren’t sure about the future. But they don’t. I can handle “I’m not sure if you’re the woman I want to commit to, but I think we have great chemistry and would love to have sex”. Then I can make an informed decision. What I can’t handle is “I really like you a lot and see this going somewhere”, only to be ghosted a week later.

If you have a better method of weeding out men who are serious from the guys who just want to get laid, let us know. And “don’t get emotionally invested” isn’t an answer. I have no interest in sex without some level of emotion, and won’t harden myself to be able to have sex with a guy I like knowing he may be misleading me. [/quote]

Your mistake is in assuming the guys that bail just wanted to get laid. [b]Even more absurd is your belief that some 3-month trial period will…eliminate that?[/b]

People end relationships all. the. time. Met his family- I’m out. Saw her apartment - yikes! Didn’t realize “outdoorsy” meant 8-hour death hike every weekend. As more information is developed in the relationship, each party is weighing whether they want it to continue. If it ends after a sexual encounter, it was not going to work out, whether it happened at 3 dates or 3 months. Nobody is going to say, well that was awful, but since I’ve invested 3 months into this, I guess we better get married.

Going into relationships with that game-playing “Rules” type approach just seems immature and doomed to fail, or at best, sets a weird dynamic for the rest of the relationship. But you do you.[/quote]

Most men who just want sex aren’t going to wait 3 months. So it helps weed them out. [/quote]

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