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Anonymous wrote:I dated a man last year for like 6 weeks, had sex, and then he lost interest and wanted casual after previously initiating monogamy. I’m now dating again.and wondering what are signs a man will end up losing interest after sex one time?

Where did you have sex, at his house or somewhere else? In my experience men looking for casual sex won't be introducing you to friends, family or bring sexual partner to his house. And even if they do, they would expect you to be "on call" driving to his house whenever he wants "a date".

Try next time to stretch it into 3 months, short termers usually loose patience if no sex happens with a few weeks

Lol, you think a guy that is desirable to women (even one open to, or looking for, monogamy) is going to wait 3 months for sex??

Yes.

Yes, absolutely.

Only loser guys with no options, or the occasional bible thumper, would wait that long. Also, a woman who waits 3 months out of some sort of game playing weirdness would not be a good monogamous partner anyway.

The problem is - and every woman has experienced this - is that we start dating a guy who says he’s really into us and is looking for a relationship. Then we sleep with him, and suddenly he disappears. Or he stops putting in any effort and just wants to be f*ck buddies. Or in some other way makes it clear he just wanted sex.

Because it’s so hard to tell which men genuinely like us and which just want to get laid, we have to come up with things like “don’t sleep with them for 3 months”. It really sucks to get emotionally invested in someone and believe there’s a future, when they have a different idea. It’s not playing games, it’s to keep us from getting hurt (and from getting STDs, since guys like that are likely sleeping with other women, too).

It would be one thing if these guys were upfront and let us know they didn’t want a relationship, or weren’t sure about the future. But they don’t. I can handle “I’m not sure if you’re the woman I want to commit to, but I think we have great chemistry and would love to have sex”. Then I can make an informed decision. What I can’t handle is “I really like you a lot and see this going somewhere”, only to be ghosted a week later.

If you have a better method of weeding out men who are serious from the guys who just want to get laid, let us know. And “don’t get emotionally invested” isn’t an answer. I have no interest in sex without some level of emotion, and won’t harden myself to be able to have sex with a guy I like knowing he may be misleading me.

Quasi Arranged marriage.

Have your list of criteria:

Height, salary, ses level, wealth, assets, race, language, family background, occupation level, attractiveness clearly laid out

Then tap your family friends to source marriage interested men that check these boxes

Then set up talks to see if they are serious about getting married d

If you are prioritizing height and money, you are begging to not be taken seriously.

“I never prioritize a woman’s weight or looks” -no man ever

And? Do you think that’s an argument that you should be taken seriously for being obsessed with someone else’s bank account?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The problem is - and every woman has experienced this - is that we start dating a guy who says he’s really into us and is looking for a relationship. Then we sleep with him, and suddenly he disappears. Or he stops putting in any effort and just wants to be f*ck buddies. Or in some other way makes it clear he just wanted sex.

Because it’s so hard to tell which men genuinely like us and which just want to get laid, we have to come up with things like “don’t sleep with them for 3 months”. It really sucks to get emotionally invested in someone and believe there’s a future, when they have a different idea. It’s not playing games, it’s to keep us from getting hurt (and from getting STDs, since guys like that are likely sleeping with other women, too).

It would be one thing if these guys were upfront and let us know they didn’t want a relationship, or weren’t sure about the future. But they don’t. I can handle “I’m not sure if you’re the woman I want to commit to, but I think we have great chemistry and would love to have sex”. Then I can make an informed decision. What I can’t handle is “I really like you a lot and see this going somewhere”, only to be ghosted a week later.

If you have a better method of weeding out men who are serious from the guys who just want to get laid, let us know. And “don’t get emotionally invested” isn’t an answer. I have no interest in sex without some level of emotion, and won’t harden myself to be able to have sex with a guy I like knowing he may be misleading me.

Your mistake is in assuming the guys that bail just wanted to get laid. Even more absurd is your belief that some 3-month trial period will…eliminate that?

People end relationships all. the. time. Met his family- I’m out. Saw her apartment - yikes! Didn’t realize “outdoorsy” meant 8-hour death hike every weekend. As more information is developed in the relationship, each party is weighing whether they want it to continue. If it ends after a sexual encounter, it was not going to work out, whether it happened at 3 dates or 3 months. Nobody is going to say, well that was awful, but since I’ve invested 3 months into this, I guess we better get married.

Going into relationships with that game-playing “Rules” type approach just seems immature and doomed to fail, or at best, sets a weird dynamic for the rest of the relationship. But you do you.