Reply to Do you secretly resent DH for not making enough money for you to be a SAHM?

Forum Index » Infants, Toddlers, & Preschoolers

Reply to "Do you secretly resent DH for not making enough money for you to be a SAHM?"

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]"It is the glaring double standard that bothers me. Tell me, why is it OK to say things like "It is entirely UNFAIR to DH for me not to work!" but it is inflammatory to say "It is entirely UNFAIR to the kids for both parents to WOH!" What is the difference? Please, enlighten me. Why is perfectly OK to reference SAHMs as "bizarre", "1950's" and as "subscribing to gender stereotypes?"

When my first DC was born, I was in the very fortunate position to decide WHATEVER I wanted to. I have an excellent education, advanced degrees, enough money to have paid for full time care and still brought home a salary worth contributing - in the end, my personal desire to be home with my children while they are young trumped all. This was a decision fully supported by DH - if I had decided to WOH, he would have equally supported that. My being home, (he has often reminded me while thanking me for all that I do) makes his work life LESS stressful.

This is what works for our family and not because I am lazy, lack ambition or because I felt like this was my role as a woman. We haven't moved forward if women are still getting categorized/labeled/criticized for not making the "correct" choices of the day. And it goes BOTH ways."

Ooookay, Donna Reed. What options did DH have if "it goes both ways"?

[/quote]

Option #1: He could have decided not to marry me, because he knew my desire to care for my own children should we have any before we married.  But it made him love me more, not scare him away.

Option #2:  He could have stayed home and I would have stayed in the job that was making more than his at the time (his salary has now far surpassed that)  I would have supported that if he had a strong desire to SAH, but I wanted to more than he did.

Option #3:  He could have balked post birth of first DC and said he's changed his mind about being the sole provider and we would have worked something else out. (There was a short period of time (a few months) when things were tough in the beginning of DH's career and I did contract work to help out - I didn't throw my hands up in the air and say "its all you, babe!"

Option #4:  He could have decided that he did not want to have two more DCs after the first if the pressure was too much.

[/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics