Reply to Divorce with kids - do you regret it?

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[quote=Anonymous]ACOD here. The divorce was bad. Very destructive for the kids. But the marriage was too. Maybe things would have been just as messed up for the kids if our parents had stayed married, just in different ways or through different situations. The problem was the parents as people. I have no idea if this is what characterizes most failed marriages. Probably not.

But one thing I find really strange in pretty much every discussion on DCUM about divorce with kids is how people bring up "the holidays." For most people, there are maybe 2 or 3 holidays per year that really matter, right? I don't get why so many commenters think it's better for the parents and kids to suffer for 362 days per year just so they can spend 3 days per year all together -- suffering.  Do you think the kids are like "I can't wait to wake up Christmas morning so I can listen to mom and dad fight about such and such again"? You don't think the kids would rather have a pleasant Christmas with one parent this year and a pleasant Christmas with the other parent next year? Or Christmas with each parent every year, just that one takes place on Christmas and one takes place a few days before or after? I think split holidays are a problem only when the parents make them a problem by fighting over them and guilting the kids about which parent they spend it with.[/quote]

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