Reply to Divorce with kids - do you regret it?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I never really get it when divorced people insist that everything is the same and everything is fine.  I think that's re-traumatizing and it's better to acknowledge the loss.  If you think your ex won't date or re-marry, how do you ever really know that? What are you going to do about it if he does?  If the two homes are the same, how do you keep them the same?  It's just this weird insistence that everything is fine and they know it is and they know for sure and they KNOW THEY KNOW THEY KNOW IT WILL ALL BE FINE FOREVER!

Can't we just admit that some divorces are the right choice in the long run but it's still pretty difficult?[/quote]

My neighbor lives 3 streets away from where she used to live. The kids seem happy. It's really not a big deal.[/quote]

To add on, it was hard for them the first two years but now they just pick where they want to go and see both parents regularly. The parents work around the kids schedules.[/quote]

I love how two years of difficulty are not a big deal according to you.  This is their childhood and it matters, you can't get that time back.

Having to pick is a burden in its own way, and seeing parents "regularly" is not the same thing as living with your family.[/quote]

The dad decided he was gay. It is what it is. I think the kids are pretty well adjusted and they get along with both parents are successful in school and have many friends. Life happens. You can't control everything. Do  you think this couple should have just stayed married? You'd prefer a married couple where the husband is an alcoholic? That happens a lot. I think it scars the kids but life scars people. I'm not making light of it, but it also isn't a death sentence. I've actually seen the kids mature well as a result of watching their parents act respectfully.[/quote]

I don't think people have to stay married if they really don't want to, but I think it's really unhealthy to pretend that nothing important was lost or that the two houses thing isn't burdensome.  Divorce exchanges one set of problems for another, and we don't have to pretend away the second set of problems to prove it was the right decision.  The weird PP who insists that the "extra" house is exactly the same and the kids have lost literally nothing is really strange to me.  Just get divorced, own your choice and acknowledge the consequences, and it's okay.[/quote]

You are completely missing the point: that parents can mitigate any severely negative consequences if they have enough money, live close, and can coparent well. Does not have to be an epic disaster, which most readers here refuse to even consider. [/quote]

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