Reply to Divorce with kids - do you regret it?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]My point and posting is to make people understand that all the terrible things people say happen in divorce do not necessarily happen in divorce because in my scenario almost nothing changed for my kids. There’s none of the terrible things that people say they’re always are and that was my point. Mom and dad sleep in two different household that’s the only thing that’s different. Same school same schedule same college savings and retirement accounts savings same holiday schedule and on and on and on. Parents don’t spend any time together just like the marriage. No change. I don’t think marital status and counts as much as people think it is because I really think it’s just the parenting and the legally married status is completely irrelevant. Sorry for those if you have emotionally mature spouses who can’t handle being logical and keeping things as close to possible as it was in the marriage after a divorce it took us a few years to do it this way but it’s completely fine. Unfortunately, I do have to tell my kids this is not like most divorces. 
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Your children lost the privilege of living in one house with their parents.  They lost time with their parents.  If you made a bad decision about who to have children with and your marriage was really that bad, I'm sorry for you and your children.  But I really don't understand how you can operate two homes rather than one without a financial impact.  And I'm really perplexed that you say the holiday schedule has not changed.

What about the few years in which you were not doing it "this way"?  Those years were part of your children's childhood too, and whatever they missed out on or lost during those years can't be gotten back.  That time is gone.  [/quote]

Nothing is different in the house at all between marriage and divorce. Imagine living separate lives being married. That is how it was. It was never any different. I don't agree with time lost. I work. I see them as much as before. [/quote]

You are still seeming rather crazy to me.  Do your children not go to their father's house?[/quote]

OMG. There are two houses. 50/50. We see the kids just as much. The same as before--separately. Same in marriage. Same in divorce. One change: an extra house. EVERYTHING else is exactly the same. (literally, I set up both houses exactly the same. same routines...only difference is where parents sleep...I have a house rather than a guest room, which I had since before second was even born). Everyone assumes all marriages are some lovey dovey fairytale so every divorce must be a horrible disaster. Not. My marriage was a legal contract and nothing more. My divorce is a lack of a legal contract and nothing more. [/quote]

Okay, but they still have the burden of schlepping back and forth, right?  How do you see them equally as much as before if you only have 50%?  Are you at the father's house during the day on weekends?  How do you plan to ensure he does not remarry ever?

It seems really weird and unhealthy that you have enough control over your ex to make him set up his house the same and keep the same routines.  You seem very weird and are definitely not convincing anyone that all is well in your family.[/quote]

There is no control. He kept the house and kept the same routines. He is lazy. It’s easier. 
There is minimal inconvenience going back and forth but hardly a burden. That is ridiculous.
We are flexible with time. Officially 50/50 but we are not super strict about it. I see them about the same as before. 
No one is ensuring anyone won’t remarry but neither of us want to or see the point. There would be a prenup if it happens…very very unlikely though.
Sorry you can’t understand that we purposefully did our doc or to have minimal impact on kids. There is not much difference in their lives despite what you might assume. [/quote]

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