Reply to Anyone have an affair and actually end up with that person?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I wouldn't say affair love isn't real. Because any love - as pointed out here many many times - is a choice. I'm choosing to love somebody and do loving things, whether that be my spouse or my AP, right?

We all had that kind of sexy limerence at the start of a relationship, and it is just as real in an affair as it is in a non-affair. [/quote]

Ah no.  My spouse and I can still get that feeling back at certain times.  AP fizzled out and ended badly.  Nothing left there.[/quote]
Well, that's fine. Are you also saying because love fizzles out it isn't real? Many folks are still married to people where the love fizzled out - does it mean their previous love wasn't real? I don't think so.[/quote]

A lustful affair that burns out quick where people get on one another’s nerves and start having pissy fights was sex.  Wanting to screw someone is not the same as love.

The difference with the beginning with my spouse was we were both single and every single box was checked (intellectually, looks, body, wit/sense of humor, life outlook, athleticism, drive, etc.) it was on an entirely plane than an affair with someone I really only saw a minimal amount of time and lacked a lot of basic connections.  I didn’t have to see her every minute.  With my spouse I literally could not live without her.

I’m sure if it’s between people that see one another daily, like a co-worker, it might be different.

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