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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP, I think you’re completely reasonable. Sorry if you addressed this earlier, but can you fit in a few sessions of solution focused marriage counseling? Because it seems to me that you are very clear on your needs.

I will say that the fewer hours argument is much stronger than the more money argument, and I would actually abandon the latter. Go with the fewer hours, with the rider that if he wants to change jobs to one with more hours you could see making it work for enough of a salary bump to allow more outsourcing.

But the real issue is the unequal domestic burden, not the financials. [/quote]

Op this is excellent advice. Think about some clear discrete change that if it were to happen would put your marriage back on track. If you can find that ( this PP has great points) try a few hours of therapy. It could make things better.

That said I also agree with the posters that have said he probably won’t change. So I’d also be prepared for divorce. I’d start thinking about that. It will not be easier and there will be even less money but you will be a happier person and better parent for it. You don’t seem to respect this man, let alone love him (which is to some extent fair although he showed you who he was), and that is poison for you and your kids. [/quote]

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