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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I am a school administrator. I cannot count how many times I have had some version of this sentence come out of the mouth of a parent who is in my office because of their child's behavior--"Billy is just so much more mature/intelligent/articulate than his peers. He cannot relate to them, so he ends up behaving inappropriately/disrespectfully/violently towards them out of frustration. One day the rest of the kids will mature to a level where he can relate to them and then he'll be fine." The variation on this theme is that Billy is more mature/intelligent/articulate than his peers and should be held to a different standard altogether.

I have been doing my job long enough (and been a parent long enough) to now say to parents like this what I used to just think to myself. If Billy is truly that brilliant and mature, he can be taught to understand that there is a difference between appropriate and inappropriate behavior. So we need to teach him. We need to reward the right choices and consistently demonstrate that the wrong choices have consequences. And by we, I mean all of the adults who interact with Billy at school and at home.

If he cannot understand the difference, that is a serious issue that needs real attention. We need to address that issue honestly and thoughtfully, calling upon the appropriate people and resources, rather than just pretend it's an inevitable by-product of brilliance and sweep it under the rug.

The most important part of this is that no matter why Billy behaves the way he does, we need to take it seriously, because it isn't working for anyone. It's not working for the teachers and the other kids, because Billy is disruptive, distracting, and occasionally a danger. And it's not working for Billy, because his behavior leaves him frustrated and isolated, which just makes things worse for everyone involved. So let's all take a deep breath and be honest, and really find a solution.[/quote]

this is the best response to all the parents who think their child's intelligence is why they act out. I wish you had been my principal, backing me up when I was a first grade teacher with many out of control, bratty students deemed "gifted" by their parents. [/quote]

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