Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:what should you do if your 4 year old eats spaghetti with her fingers at a restaurant?

Why do allow her to eat spaghetti with her fingers at home? This is your fault that you don't teach your children table manners. There is no excuse for a 4-yr old not to know how to use a fork or a spoon. Italian children know how to eat spaghetti properly, are they smarter or maybe their parenting skills are superior to yours.

Anonymous wrote:I am a school administrator. I cannot count how many times I have had some version of this sentence come out of the mouth of a parent who is in my office because of their child's behavior--"Billy is just so much more mature/intelligent/articulate than his peers. He cannot relate to them, so he ends up behaving inappropriately/disrespectfully/violently towards them out of frustration. One day the rest of the kids will mature to a level where he can relate to them and then he'll be fine." The variation on this theme is that Billy is more mature/intelligent/articulate than his peers and should be held to a different standard altogether.

I have been doing my job long enough (and been a parent long enough) to now say to parents like this what I used to just think to myself. If Billy is truly that brilliant and mature, he can be taught to understand that there is a difference between appropriate and inappropriate behavior. So we need to teach him. We need to reward the right choices and consistently demonstrate that the wrong choices have consequences. And by we, I mean all of the adults who interact with Billy at school and at home.

If he cannot understand the difference, that is a serious issue that needs real attention. We need to address that issue honestly and thoughtfully, calling upon the appropriate people and resources, rather than just pretend it's an inevitable by-product of brilliance and sweep it under the rug.

The most important part of this is that no matter why Billy behaves the way he does, we need to take it seriously, because it isn't working for anyone. It's not working for the teachers and the other kids, because Billy is disruptive, distracting, and occasionally a danger. And it's not working for Billy, because his behavior leaves him frustrated and isolated, which just makes things worse for everyone involved. So let's all take a deep breath and be honest, and really find a solution.

Anonymous wrote:what should you do if your 4 year old eats spaghetti with her fingers at a restaurant?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Spirited genius lol. I thought spirited meant happy not a child who spits in his moms face and never listens. And im pretty sure if a kid was so smart and some good ole fashioned punishment came their way for doing what they do they would def consider before doing it again. I mean i know a lot of parents might think their kid is a genius just bcuz but blaming their bad behavior on a high Iq is just ridiculous.

Ditto. Spirited is code for brat. 8)

Anonymous wrote:Spirited genius lol. I thought spirited meant happy not a child who spits in his moms face and never listens. And im pretty sure if a kid was so smart and some good ole fashioned punishment came their way for doing what they do they would def consider before doing it again. I mean i know a lot of parents might think their kid is a genius just bcuz but blaming their bad behavior on a high Iq is just ridiculous.

Anonymous wrote:what should you do if your 4 year old eats spaghetti with her fingers at a restaurant?

Anonymous wrote:

5. Parents have been whining about kids for eons. They aren't any different than in the past. Not a chance. Kids absolutely do things today that they did not do decades ago. I can't believe this point even needs to be defended in an age where kids are sexting each other.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Well, I think your post is sort of harsh, negative and unhelpful, but I'll bite.

I think our generation of parents are "taught" or maybe encouraged to "emplower" the child too much. I find myself explaining to my 19 month old way to much. As in, we can't do this because of X. I can't understand you when you whine, etc.

Personally, I think that can be overdone and sometimes you need a harsh "NO! Because I said so, that's why!"

Our parents' and grandparents' generation may have been too heavy-handed with that, but we are going to far in the other direction. I blame myself as well. The other day I lost patient and snapped at my child when she was on the floor whining - not harshly, just said her name, and she bolted up and stopped.

It was a huge lesson. I'm her mom, she will respect me just because of that, I don't need to treat her like a little adult every second of the day. I think we are encouraged to narrate everything to our children to help them learn language, but we can over-narrate. Sometimes they just need to shape up because mom or dad or adult in charge said so. No other reason.

I don't find OP's post harsh at all. However, I find your need to explain things to your 19 mo very amusing.

Anonymous wrote:Is this the new form of parenting? We are all screwed in 20 years if this is the common mindset.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Puh-leaze! People have been going on about "kids these days" for 40, 50 years. Probably longer. Some people are good parents, some people aren't. Sometimes, the behavior you witness is a child at its worst. Sometimes it is the normal behavior for the child. But at the end of the day, MYOB.

yeah - But back then, no one was "diagnosed." Asperger's? When I look back, I can list a handful of school mates who fit that description. Opp. Def. Disorder? Another school "chum" comes to mind. These kids went to school with me and graduated. One kid was literally an idiot savant - a social misfit who was a brilliant piano player who won a free ride to college.

So these days, now that we have a label for every behavior (LDGT anyone?) we also have strategies for handling some of these behaviors, and many of these strategies are PC, for lack of a better description.

And if you suck as a parent, guess what? There's a class to help you improve!

Basically, in this day and age, good old fashioned discipline is a no no.