Reply to 40-yr-old husband makes $125,000

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]

You are nuts. [b]125k is 87th percentile for salary in the US. [/b]

[/quote]

According to this site, it is 90th percentile in 2020,  Essentially OP is saying that 90% of the American population is too poor for her family.  That's incredibly shallow and greedy.

[url]https://dqydj.com/average-median-top-individual-income-percentiles/#:~:text=and%20so%20on!-,2020%20Individual%20Income%20Percentiles%20for%20the%20United%20States,Median%20individual%20income%3A%20%2443%2C206.00[/url]

[quote]Individual Income
Percentile  |	2020	            |  2019              |	Absolute Increase  |	Percentage Change
90.00%    |	$125,105.00  |	$118,211.27  |	$6,893.73             | 	5.83%[/quote][/quote]

Not in DC, and not among married men with children. And OP isn't married to "90% of the American population", she is married to one specific person, and they should discuss their financial and career goals with each other and figure out what's best for themselves and their children based on that, not based on what her cousin thinks and not based on what other people earn. [/quote]

The PP I was responding to said explicitly "in the US" not "in DC".   See the bolded.  If the PP wanted to talk about in DC, she should not have said "in the US".  Sorry, but words have actual meanings.[/quote]

The implications of both the PP and you was that OP should STFU and be grateful because her husband makes more than a reference population that mostly includes people living in lower COL areas, and also people who aren't supporting children. I've had that kind of reasoning used on me when I was being underpaid and I find it trite and lazy. Figuring out the right career decisions for yourself and your family are not judgements on the income or lifestyles of other Americans.[/quote]

She was perfectly happy with her life, her husband and their choices until she had to have an inappropriate conversation with her cousin.  And now she's let a very greedy and entitled family member make her question her husband, her marriage and her life choices.  They were very happy with their life before the conversation; why is she no longer satisfied?  She has a spouse who has a good salary better than 80% of the DC metro area and 90% of the country.  And she makes more than he does.  Their ballpark $275K income is 88th percentile in DC, 92nd percentile in MD and 93rd percentile in VA, so they are better off than 90%+ of the DC metro area.

Not so much STFU, as ignore the cousin who is out of touch with reality and continue to be happy with the situation you were perfectly happy with before.  Don't rock the boat and try to guilt your spouse into leaving a job that he is happy with and happy with the family friendly accommodations just to get more money.  More marriages dissolve over money squabbles than any other issue.  Do not bring up the money issue if you are otherwise happy with your life and lifestyle.  It's going out of your way to create a problem where there isn't one.  If she really has a concern over whether they can afford their lifestyle choices, then that is the discussion to have.  Maybe the right solution is that OP, who does less of the household chores and childcare and who needs family friendly flexibility less, should be the one to change jobs for a higher paying job.  When you have children, one parent needs to have a flexible job to deal with family issues as they come up.  So, her husband's priority should be on flexibility and her priority should be on making enough money for their lifestyle choices.  Plus, she's the one that wants the more expensive things in life, she should be the one to increase their household income if these are so important to her.[/quote]

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