Reply to DS Suffers Socially Because His Mom Doesn't Make friends With Other Moms

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I am an introvert mother of several children.  My innate nature has hampered them, if at all, only by example.  The oldest in particular might (as a child) have been a little more self conscious than children who had a mother who socialized frequently. And yet, over the years, my children have also observed me put in the time and effort to overcome my natural tendencies as I meet and talk to many people, make close friends, host great parties, and lead a fulfilling life.  And it turns out that all my children had no trouble forming their own close friendships, socializing frequently, and indeed being well liked and popular as they grew into teenagers and young adults.  But they did so on their own terms, and naturally, without their mother's influence.

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Pretty much the same here. I do think these “mom groups” can be socially helpful for kids in the early years (prior to 4th- 5th grade a) particularly if a kid has social issues or similar (a kid who is not well liked may still be included because the moms are friends)

However these groups usually disband by 4th/5th grade as the kids start choosing their own friends (and may start protesting hanging out with kids they do not like)- and also become very busy with activities on the weekends leaving less time for these get togethers.

My point is yes- these groups grease the wheels at young ages but it usually does not “stick”- and may even ultimately hamper a kid’s social skills if he doesn’t learn to make friends on his own.

I have never made much effort with moms from school beyond basic politeness/pleasantries and my kids (3) are doing well and have friends. (Freshman, 7th, 5th grades)

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