Reply to Wife chronically depressed, blames everyone everything for her unhapiness&unfullfillment, I want out

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Reply to "Wife chronically depressed, blames everyone everything for her unhapiness&unfullfillment, I want out"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP also understand activities like the gym or museums are too much at this stage.  Your wife probably feels exhausted, that's depression, it isn't your wife.  Everything will be exhausting and overwhelming so take pressure off, let her know that job hunting is not happening until she is better.  Let her know not to worry about the house.  Think baby steps to start with, getting to the doctor, new medication, walk outside for 15 mins.  Then go from there.

Go with her to the doctor and ask to spend a few minutes with the doctor with your wife present to speak about your concerns.

Consider a therapist for yourself, take care of your own mental health.[/quote]

I love how OP just told you that he's exhausted from carrying the full financial burden, taking care of the house and the children without any help from her.  And your response is "tell her not to worry about any of this, continue carrying the full load, who cares that you're exhausted."[/quote]

It's ridiculous.[/quote]

People have suggested getting a cleaner to help.  Is there family or friends nearby who could help. I don't think that OP's partner is in any condition to apply for jobs and go for interviews.  If she is staring into space she isn't going to get out of the house for interviews, she simply doesn't have the energy.  If the depression is related to PPD then yes, I wouldn't want her having the burden of childcare because it's the kids who will suffer.  They may need help and she is staring off into space or goes to the bedroom to sleep.  She may not be capable of taking care of the kids properly at the moment.  It is something to consider.

I'm not saying who cares that OP is exhausted, what I'm saying is find ways to treat the depression.  Pushing for job interviews and the added stress and anxiety of that will not help someone in depression.  That's why I think take the initial pressure off, try some small things and I'm not sure what works well so getting a therapist for the OP may be ideal to help OP navigate this.  I've also said because I posted twice after hitting send too early that if OP finds things don't improve to give it the amount of time they think is appropriate and then consider separating because although some people get better others don't.

It's ok to divorce but I think people are trying to say in this case mental illness isn't something the OP's partner has chosen, it's a sickness and usually in marriage you try to help your sick spouse.  I don't know how long this has been going on for.  I don't know if OP has actually tried to do anything useful yet, I don't know if OP has gone to a therapist and gotten proper information on how to help and navigate this situation.  If they haven't then yes I would think that is worth it for the family, if OP has done that and nothing works then no OP shouldn't drown as well.[/quote]

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