Reply to Going to DIL's for first time for Christmas

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]This chain made me laugh. If she isn’t in charge of hosting a special event/occasion, my MIL will just plan a second version herself. For example, hosting a wedding “picnic” long after our wedding which we did not want. She hosted a surprise bridal shower for me because I did not plan nor want one. She hosted a baby shower for my first pregnancy after my official baby shower that I had planned myself. When it came to our dd’s first birthday, she offered to host. I firmly put my foot down that there would be ONE bday party (she wanted to have one at her house (2 states away!) too) that I would be hosting and she was more than welcome to attend. I asked her to bring a cake. She said no, actually she would bring cupcakes. She continually asked if she could bring some appetizer. I repeatedly said no, there was a menu theme and I was handling the food. She would then ask DH about bringing this same appetizer. He didn’t know or care what was going on. I continued to answer thanks but we’ve got the food covered. She arrived for the party with the appetizer in tow, saying I hope you don’t mind I brought this, you have a lot of people coming to the party and they need to be fed. I smiled and said of course, thank you. 
She then proceeded to point party guests to her appetizer announcing she made it.

Hahaha so yeah, I get a kick out of these stories. :)[/quote]

Yes and isn't this just it right here.  Yes some posters just want to blame those hateful DIL's but there are some MIL's who just can't sit back and relax.  They are use to being in charge, hosting, things have been done their way and they will regardless of anyone else continue to have some control.

Yes it is funny to have a chuckle over later but in reality it can be stressful having an overbearing MIL who just won't take no for an answer or doesn't listen.  I see red flags when I hear someone can't just go and relax, why can't you, what is so hard about that.  Why do they see negatives where there are none.

OP your DIL has it covered, just as you wouldn't want her turning up to your Christmas feast and taking over your meal I'm sure she doesn't want you to take over hers.  They are hosting, so let them host.  I'm sure you can host next Christmas and feel all important then.  Is it that you secretly believe no one can host like you can, there won't be that special dish you had every year, just let it go, different isn't wrong, it isn't bad, it's just different.  Accept with grace otherwise it will become a very bumpy ride.[/quote]

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