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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Mercy!  All these responses make me think more fondly of my perfume-wearing, snobby, disengaged, alcoholic MIL who thinks my DH hung the moon!

I'm sensitive to this bc with just two young sons and no daughters, I'm destined to be loathed. But I don't wear perfume and like to play with kids, so maybe those future DILs will give me a pass....[/quote]

:roll:

Come in "expecting to be loathed," and you've pretty much written a self-fulfilling prophecy.

Just be kind and polite. Like to a peer. Because your DIL WILL BE your peer. She will not be another child of yours. Be kind and polite and good things will come to you. Respect her, respect her household and her marriage and her mothering, stay out of her business, and you'll be fine. [/quote]

This! Remember a daughter is a daughter for life. A son is a son until he takes a WIFE. [/quote]

Oh people on DCUM love to blame the DIL but where do you think these DIL's get these stories from.  These ridiculous crazy stories are personal stories which these DIL's have lived through, personally experienced them and people are posting that they are having a good laugh, but the reality is behind each of those funny unbelievable stories is a woman that has acted this way - oh sorry, a MIL that has acted this way.

If you feel you are destined to be loathed you probably will be, because you will go into the in-law relationship buying into all the crap.  If you just get to know your DIL as a peer and show respect just as you would any other person in your life you will be fine.  It's funny how MIL's think it's ok to belittle their DIL's but would never think twice of speaking or treating their friends in the same manner.  Please tell me, do any of these MIL's actually walk into their friends house and criticise their decor or cooking and tell their friend how they do it so much better, do you really tell your friend that they are fat to their face, tell them what to do with their children and anything they are doing is wrong, do you tell them that they caused their own miscarriages - I'm assuming you don't do that to your friends because you know it is hurtful and cruel and yet you deem it ok treatment for your DIL's.

No the DIL's on this thread aren't hateful they are sharing stories of how they have been treated by their MIL's.  As much as MIL's might want to point the finger at everyone else the stories are usually received with disbelief because they are so crazy.  So perhaps the real question is why are MIL's so hateful?  Why do they act this way because common sense would tell us that if all the DIL's didn't have these stories to tell wouldn't the in-law relationship be so much easier to navigate.  Why don't FIL's and SILs have the same issues or very rarely have these issues?  It seems to be a problem with older women, what is so bad about a DIL wanting to host Christmas, really in the scheme of things why can't the OP just be happy to be invited and have family around her but no there is a problem, she is relegated to bringing muffins and wine.  MIL's always look for the negative and problems and hence the relationship is a minefield where no one wins.  What would a FIL do, he would be happy to bring muffins and wine, turn up, enjoy himself and relax.  So don't blame DIL's, don't see hatred, see really hurtful situations created by another person who probably didn't need to create that situation in the first place.  It shouldn't be this hard but for some reason it is and to tell you the truth it baffles most younger DIL's as to why it is like this. [/quote]

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