Reply to Wife expects me to be "on" after a work trip

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP I dont know if anyone mentioned this because I didnt read the whole thread, but a part of the problem is that your 3 year old is spoiled as hell. There is NO WAY I would entertain a 3 year old at night like that. There is no back run and tucking in in the middle of the night. 3 is old enough to get up and potty alone often times, and if not at least cut out all the extras. Just accompany the kid to the toilet and go bakc to bed. But I'm skeptical they need help with that.[/quote]

This this this.

Your husband probably doesn’t want to be “on” because your actions have resulted in your kids not sleeping.  Kind of like a dad not wanting to change a 3 year olds diapers.  [/quote]

[b]Only someone who assumes that sleep and potty training are the sole responsibility of the mother would frame it that way ...[/b]

Dad doesn't like waking up?  Dad buys Ferber and initiates sleep training.  Dad doesn't like changing diapers?  Dad buys Oh Crap, takes 3 days off work, and does the boot camp.  [/quote]

I don’t think this and my husband played an equal role in both.

BUT in this situation it seems safe to assume that the mother is the one in charge of the kids’ sleep.  After all isn’t the husband away a lot on business travel?  The DH can Ferber all he wants but if the mom is running into the kid’s room multiple times a night then Ferber won’t do any good.

[/quote]

The PP said "your (the mom's) actions have resulted in your kids not sleeping."  And I have no idea why it would be "safe to assume that the mother is the one in charge of the kid's sleep."  The OP is an RN who does shiftwork.  [/quote]

Np: I wonder if this is part of the issue? Seems sometimes is dad is out of town, sometimes mom does shift work- so different routines and approaches depending on which parent is handling nighttime  can lead to sleep problems. Not flaming at all because it happens even if well intentioned. OP maybe you and wife should sit down and discuss and make sure you are handling things the same way and in agreement (ideally with the goal to get 3yo to stop waking at night) and then work on the 9mo soon- depending on how frequently the waking is. [/quote]

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