Reply to “You love them more than me now.” PPD in men.

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Reply to "“You love them more than me now.” PPD in men."

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Wow this thread is like a PSA for how dismissive people are of mental health issues in this country. [/quote]

It's super scary how cavalier people are about saying OP married a "man-baby" instead of offering helpful advice to a new mom of 2 month old twins about how she can better support her struggling partner.  Oy. [/quote]

This. The double standard is unreal. [/quote]

What is unreal is that people don't understand the difference between feelings and actions.

The H has feeling... that does not make him a man-baby.

His ACTIONS are that he give the cold shoulder, tells OP she is to blame for his feeling and [b]he emotionally manipulates her to try to get her to spend less time with her newborns.[/b]

Nobody is calling him a man-baby for having depression or having feeling. He is a man-baby because of his ACTIONS.

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Where are you getting that? This isn't a pattern of sustained behavior. This is a single incident. They had a date night planned. It was cancelled. He got upset. She forced a conversation, he explains how he's emotionally struggling with the transition. Explains that he is feeling resentment towards the situation (which is a VERY normal thing to feel with a SINGLE 7 week old, let alone twins). OP says this is unusual, she has noticed that he's been struggling mentally, she is drowning herself and is wondering how to help him while still keeping herself afloat.

It is actually not helpful to have a bunch of people tell her she needs to get angry at her communicative depressed spouse. A course of action that will heighten friction in their relationship and cause added stress. A couple that looks to each other compassionately in those early weeks is going to have an easier time than a couple that allows anger and resentment to fester. Because adding marital problems to twins is not actually very helpful.

You're calling him a man baby because when having a conversation ABOUT why something upset him he explained his negative feelings. So yes, you are calling him a man baby because of his feelings, or at minimum, his willingness to communicate them. [/quote]

Are so many things wrong with your post where to start.

It’s not normal for a grown man to get upset because a date is canceled due to a sick child.

It’s weird that you interpret people telling the wife that it’s not OK for somebody to pout, ignore, and blame that you think we’re saying her reaction should be anger as if the only reaction you think people should have in when standing up for themselves his anger. Where did you learn that standing up for yourself means you have to be angry? That shows that you don’t really have good coping skills yourself.  It points to why you don’t understand that what he’s doing is abusive because you probably use anger when you want to get your way. .

It’s not normal that you’re describing the situation as his wife forcing him to have a conversation.

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