Reply to “You love them more than me now.” PPD in men.

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Reply to "“You love them more than me now.” PPD in men."

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP again.

I was not sure on the science behind PPD and men.  I’ve read a few studies stating that some men have changed in hormones to reflect their partners during pregnancy and can have PPD.  It may be BS.  So let’s just say DH has a long history of depression and mental illness and that the birth of our twins seems to have created a downward spiral for him.  Maybe not PPD but a depressive episode triggered by adjusting to life with newborn twins.

No, the silent treatment is not normal for him.  I don’t consider him selfish or a “man baby”.   I consider him highly sensitive and that’s one of the reasons I love him.  I know that I’m the stronger of the two of us emotionally and for our relationship I’m usually the one he can rely on but he has supported me emotionally, mentally etc plenty of times.

He’s in a bad headspace and I wish I could help but I’m truly so exhausted I can barely function and unfortunately at the moment I cannot be his support system.  I was looking for advice on anyone who has had a spouse in the same place and what seemed to help.  Thank you to the users who mentioned going ahead and getting a nanny now.  I’m also trying to find a parental support group for new fathers.  I think talking to other men in similar situations will help. [/quote]

-Get the nanny now
-Insist that he discuss this issue with his therapist
-Raise the issue of meds/TMS/something else, at least temporarily

Here's the thing: you won't able to be his support system anymore.  Not the way you used to.  [b]Your children will need to be your emotional priority from here on out, and so you need a plan for him getting the emotional support he needs from someone other than you.  With parenting comes a massive shift in roles, and this one is a biggie.  Even if the newborn haze is getting to him, you both will need to readjust your dynamic to make sure the kids get the attention[/b] they need.[/quote]

And this is why marriages fail and children today have become spoiled entitled brats.  Your spouse, especially your provider, should always be number one.[/quote]

When you talk about spoiled entitled brats you are talking about the H.

Stop the #1 bullshit.

Infants are #1.
Sometimes, my job is #1, like from 9-5.
Sometime sleep is #1.
Sometimes caring for a dying parent is #1

Stop ranking your love and stop keep score... that is why marriages fail. [/quote]

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