Reply to Daughter's Behavior Toward Parent/Family and Attitude vs Gratitude

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][b]Op here.[/b]

[quote=Anonymous][quote] I am currently pursuing a much better paying career position [b]to be able to pay[/b][/quote]

He doesn't have the money

This is about money folks![/quote]

Wrong.  I do have money that will cover it.  But my career moves are both for my retirement and my DD's education - because I don't believe in debt and I don't want her to have student loans.  [/quote]

NP here and you might actually want to consider having her take out some of the money in loans.  Not a crippling amount but just to have some skin in the game and to give her an appreciation of the value of money as she repays the loans.

I don't know how it happened but somewhere along the way you guys just didn't teach her the value of money (i.e. your statement above that you always provided every academic/sport/extracurricular opportunity no matter the cost).  I also agree with you that an adult should treat you with respect if they want monetary support.  I don't think this translates to a close relationship per se but it's ridiculous that she feels so entitled to not provide even a briefing about her college plans because its too much work.  If you're paying you have access to all of the application materials, financial information and grades.  I think there also comes a point (i.e. now) where she needs to temper her tone and language when she talks to you.  She's too old to have temper tantrums.

Also, you made a mistake about the thank you notes.  You shouldn't have given her the money until she wrote the notes and if she refused to write them you should have sent the money back.[/quote]

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