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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]
I am offended on your behalf, OP!

Tell your child that while this is not his fault, it has to be a lesson in the future, not to blab to adults at school about his private life. That you love him and only want the best for him, and that you will do your level best not to hit him in the future.

I would not give this counselor the satisfaction of letting her know anything! Let her wonder... and I would actually continue the session for a bit, just to get her to stew even more. Your child will know not to tell her anything about tonight. 
[/quote]

Way to go, Ms. Selfish.  I really hope OP does not listen to you.

OP's son is already in counseling for issues that he has.  Obviously that includes emotional outbursts such as throwing his backpack when he pinched his finger.  Now, you want her to counsel him NOT to talk to the counselor, the one who can help him to work out his emotional issues, just to protect herself since she can't control her own emotional outbursts.  Shame on you for putting your own needs ahead of your child's.  As I said, I hope that OP ignores you.   You have terrible maternal instincts.[/quote]

Sigh. How to explain this to DCUM, a place where people assume everyone has the same children/spouse/life they have, and who reflexively post without thinking things through?

A few points, however, that I have learned the hard way as a parent of a challenging child:

1. Sometimes there is no good option, and the parent must choose the least worst option. Sometimes that means slapping their child. I do not believe that is abuse. If you've never had to parent a very difficult child, that you sometimes wish had never been born, even though you love him to bits and would die for him, well lucky you. You do not know our pain.

2. I'm not sure why so many posters think counseling is the magic bullet, when it can do more harm than good. Why? Because many counselors are not trained to take into account mental health disorders at a practical level (medication, dosage, effect, self-awareness, behavior modification specific to the disorder). That's the HUGE flaw with counseling as a profession, since most relationship issues are at heart behavioral issues that stem from sub-clinical or clinical mental health problems. As you know, most mental health disorders exist on a spectrum, from the non-existent to the extreme, and somewhere along the line there is a cut-off beyond which you are diagnosable. It doesn't mean most people walking around don't have tendencies to such and such. Counseling should be able to address this, but does not.

3. If you are self-aware enough, you will realize that most people are just a bunch of lemmings. They self-righteously claim that one should never hit, one should never yell, one should never own a gun, one should never hurt the environment, etc, etc. All well and good. But have they truly done their homework and THOUGHT about these things? No, they're just repeating what others are saying. If you actually think about these issues, you will realize that there are instances where it's not all black and white. Any time someone says "always" or "never", it's a red flag that they've let someone else do the thinking for them.

I know it's a lot to ask of DCUM, but a little bit of reflection and humility before you post would make you a wiser and better person.

[/quote]

It is abuse - you don't want to think it is - but it is.  I have a special needs child with tons of challenges and have never hit him. https://www.aappublications.org/news/2018/11/05/discipline110518 There are lots of gray areas in this world, abusing your child is not in that zone.[/quote]

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