Reply to Stepparents, how much money have you spent on/do you spend on your spouse's children?

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Reply to "Stepparents, how much money have you spent on/do you spend on your spouse's children?"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]We merged fInances and had custody of my stepchild, so I paid for essentially 50% of my stepchild’s expenses.  Mom spent almost nothing, expecting us to send money to cover everything from groceries to incidentals when stepchild visited during the summer. [/quote]

I am in the same boat. Bio-mom is not in the picture except for a few visits a year and we cover everything (my DH never filed for child support). I cover my step-DD health insurance/co-pays and we count groceries as general family expense. She tells me what she prefers to eat and I buy within reason. I used to cover my step-DD activities and tutors, but stopped a few months back since it is really my DH's responsibility. I cover our two bio children daycare expenses out my own paycheck (my DH does not contribute at all) as well their other expenses--clothes, doctor co-pays, and activities. My DH does not contribute a dime from his income towards our bio-kids. He pretty much provides the roof over our head (4k mortgage), pays car insurance, electricity/gas, and trash removal. I also make car payments on all three cars, my step-DD drives one of them. I have been handed a really crappy deal and can't wait until step--DD is off to college![/quote]

Ok, how do you deal emotionally with this one-sided arrangement? I think this is what the OP is getting at. It's a recipe for resentment.[/quote]

I only have to deal with it for another 1.5 years until step-DD is off to college. I go to therapy and I have iron-clad boundaries set with step-DD and DH on what I will and will not do. My step-DD is rather ungrateful child and thinks the world is owed to her and we need to dance to her tune daily. I feel sad for her at times, due to her parents not doing any actual parenting and her mom not being there for her.[/quote]

Why are you even married to this man? [/quote]

That is a harsh comment. He does pay for $4k in mortgage, car insurance, electrivity/gas, which could easily be another $300-$500 a month. The stepmom is a perfectly nice, kind person who is not petty. The problem I see in this scenario is that if in the off-chance that these guys get divorced, will the DH turn petty and say that the house is his only because he paid all the mortgage on it? Of course, this can easily be solved (if not already done), but putting it in joint title ownership. It's a bit odd that the woman pays for all the biokids daycare, but maybe that was the amount equivalent to the mortgage.  [/quote]

The comment makes no sense that the Dad doesn't provide as he is providing everything but child care and things like clothing.  They only need child care because she is working and her paying kids expenses is reasonable if he's paying everything else.[/quote]

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