Reply to Are grandparents generally more closer with their daughter's kids than son's kids?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]My MIL has been disengaged from my kids for 17 years.  When she visits she wants to be waited on, which drove me crazy when I was WFT with two toddlers.

My parents, OTOH, know everything about my kids, have invested significant physical and emotional time with them, and have always pitched in when they come to visit.

It’s like night and day.  It’s interesting to see my now teenagers recognize how little investment my MIL...and BIL..have made in them.  They love my husband but it hasn’t trickled down in the slightest to our kids or me.

Interesting side note: I have a family friend in his early 70s who has been a marriage counselor for 35 years.  He said that most in-laws don’t ask the spouse any questions.

My goal is to do better for my kids.

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My parents are dead but when my in laws visit, they are guests, not maids.  If my parents were alive, I would also treat them as guests, no to free maid service.  
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And how exactly would you do it working full time and with 2 toddlers at home?  Take a vacation to be their waitress? [/quote]

I’m first the poster.  I certainly never expected my parents to be a maid service.  We have a maid and actually outsource a lot.  But, my MIL would literally hand me her laundry or ironing as I walked in the door from work with two toddlers.  This was after she spent the day chilling out at home.  It was very bizarre to be.  In my mind, family helps each other, connects with them, etc.  My MIL is similar at her brother’s house—so much so that his wife leaves town when she arrives because she’s so much work.  Maybe if her company was amaxing we’d all be wiling to see past it but she’s judgemental and critical on top of it so we don’t.
Work[/quote]

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