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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Don’t flame me, but my teen has started being openly defiant. I’ve already taken away his phone. That’s really the only thing he cares about. Now that I have the phone, I have no other leverage. For example, I ask him to pick up something that he left in the living room and he says, “No. It’s ok. I don’t need to do that right now.” And I say,”Yes. You do. I’m telling you to do it now.” And he just sits there. What do you do?[/quote]

I don't think there's any acceptable way to get a teen with a strong will to "obey." You have to hope that your strong-willed kid develops values and goals that are acceptable to you by the tween years or you're lost. Maybe you can bully an older kid into doing what you say, and any parent may have to nag to get a kid to live up to the kid's own standards. But the only peaceful way to get action is to remind the kid to meet the kid's own standards, or, possibly, the standards of an outside mentor or idol. The only way the parents' standards matter at that point is if they're already built somewhere into the kid.[/quote]

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