Reply to Is there a non-offensive way to ask where someone’s ancestors are from?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]
DP... there are a lot of people who don't mind and find it ridiculous that people get offended over the smallest thing.  I find that Americans are the most like this.

If a person has an accent, as in OP's scenario, [b]why is it wrong to ask where they are from[/b]?  Clearly, they are not from the US.  You can be born to an American citizen, be an American citizen, but lived in a foreign country all your life with a foreign accent.  I know someone like this.  He gets asked all the time.. "where are you from", because with an accent clearly  he's not from here, and people are just curious where he came from. They are not asking how much money he makes; what size shoe he wears. Those are very personal questions. But asking where he came from because of his accent is not a personal question. It's like asking a white person with  no accent, "did you grow up around here"?  That's not offensive so why is asking someone with a non American accent this same question so offensive?

My DH is not from here.  He has an accent. He gets asked this all the time. Now, if you ask this question to someone who is not white and doesn't have an accent and expect them to tell you their ethnicity because you are assuming such a person is not American, then that's offensive.[/quote]

Because it's nosy, in American culture. In different cultures, it might not be nosy. And in yet different cultures, it might be intolerably forward and rude.[/quote]
Americans don't ever ask each other, "where did you grow up"?  They find that rude?  I never knew that.[/quote]

Americans don't typically ask each other, "Where did you grow up?", [i]as a question out of the blue[/i] -- in my experience. Like so many things, it depends on the context.[/quote]
I assume OP has been talking to this mom a while, is friendly with her. So, asking her the question.. "where did you grow up" doesn't seem out of context.  Out of the blue to a person you *just* met.. maybe. But even then, when a person has an accent, it's obvious the person didn't grow up around here, so I don't think it's offensive.

My DH has an accent and gets asked this all the time when he first meets someone in a social setting.  People are getting to know each other and talk about where they grew up, their childhood, etc.. Most people we meet seem pretty open and laid back.  I guess if a person is kind of up tight, then they would find it offensive.[/quote]

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