Reply to DH walked away from lunch date with me and the kids--am I overreacting?

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Reply to "DH walked away from lunch date with me and the kids--am I overreacting?"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I totally disagree with the idea that kids need to see you fight and disagree that the benefit from it.

It's BS made up by aults without any self control and who are totally self absorbed.

My parents believed in that crap and I got nothing from it but feeling tensed and stressed. Feelings I can't shake even today and I believe has led me to be conflict adverse.[/quote]

+1.  I think it's more important to have a united front for the kids and give them a sense of security.  I don't think other people, unless they are a trained therapist or marriage counselor, should be in the middle of your marriage as you are trying to work something out.  Why do you need a witness?  When your are older and start dating etc you can give general relationship advice and talk in general how you have disagreements in a marraiage and have to communicate etc.  When I think of healthy behaviors I want my kids to see, I think in general of how we treat each other.  If my DH is constantly berating me, putting me town, never talking to me your me,  yelling at me etc, my daughters may think when they are dating that it's okay for a guy to treat them that way.

IMHO, communicating that you need a cool down period, taking it, then being ready to talk about it later that day is okay.  The reason I would be upset with the way it was handled is because it left me on my own with two young kids at a restaurant where I might have chosen a different venue if I knew I knew ahead of time I would  be on my own with them  - like the mall food court or lunch at home.  I think it's fair to bring  up if you need a cooling off period and  we are with the kids, give me the option to step away while you stay with the kids, take the kids wth you, or if not practicable, at a later date soon after  take them on your own somewhere so they get that makeup time with you and I get a break.  I also think you should also take a step back and not try to hash out things in front of the children.  If you both can agree to those ground rules I think you will be okay.
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