Reply to The Bachelorette 13- Rachel Lindsay

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I don't think you can truly know how you're going to feel after 9 weeks unless you're actually in the process.  Better that he's cautious now than proposing and breaking up later.  [/quote]

I agree but if he isn't into Rachel, he should just take himself out like Brooks did with Desriee or other contestants that weren't feeling it.  I feel like he is giving her just enough to keep her coming (or himself in the running to be the next bachelor) but not enough she would pick him.  To me, being on the same page about the pace of the relationship is important to being compatible.  If he really needs more than 9 weeks to be willing to propose and isn't open to the possibility it could happen to him like it did his,parents that have been married for 35 years or so, he could be on a dating show like BIP that has less of a commitment, or date someone younger that isn't to settle down anytime soon, or find someone that doesn't care if they live together and don't get married.

There was a great post from Ask Caroline years ago about ultimatums and marriage.  I can't remember how the woman phrased it but it was so spot on, like she didn't want to beg the guy to marry her or pressure him to do so if that wasn't what he wanted.  She wanted to be married some day and to have children and if those weren't the things he wanted, she wanted him to let her go to find that with someone that did want those things.  It's not about compromising, it's like Rachel tweeted that it's about finding the person that wants the same things as you and wants them with you.  My mom likes to say that love is not always enough.  What if Peter had said that he doesn't want kids while Rachel said she wanted to be a mom?  Neither is wrong but it isn't fair to ask Rachel to give up on her dream of motherhood or to have Peter have a child he doesn't want.  The right answer is to move on to someone on the same page.[/quote]

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