Reply to Would you marry someone with a history of mental illness?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I'm afraid OP is the person with a diagnosed mental illness, and so it pains me to say this, but no, I personally would not marry a partner with anything in the DSM.

My perspective is that of a person who married and then was divorced from a man with a basic, very common  mental disorder (nothing dramatic or rare). I'm also in health care and consult every week on  patients admitted to inpatient behavioral health units in hospitals.   I have immense compassion for and understanding of people with bipolar disorder, schizoaffective disorder, anxiety etc.  I want all my tax dollars earmarked to study and treat these diseases. I have a child with a (for now) mild form of one of these diseases.

And ***given the choice,***  I would not attempt to set up a life and procreate with a person with any of these disorders, knowing what I know and have already own lived.   [/quote]

Unfortunately, I mostly agree. If you don't have close experience with mental illness, then chances are you underestimate how disruptive it can be. Of course, it really depends on the specifics of the type of illness, but I would suggest at a minimum moving slowly to give yourself time to do a lot of research (i.e. beyond DCUM). If you don't want kids (and are confident you won't change your mind) then I might relax things a little since you could more easily dissolve the marriage if needed, but otherwise I think you really should spend some time considering what it might be like watching your children struggle with versions (that could be milder or worse) while trying to raise them with a partner whose own symptoms may become worse under the stress of raising kids (and you are scared to divorce because you don't want the kids influenced by them alone 50% of the time). Sorry to feel the need to write this, but if you are entering the situation with your eyes part open you probably owe it to yourself to open them all the way.[/quote]

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