Reply to Critique me: 28 yr old Af Am woman who wants marriage

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I don't think you should shy away from saying you want to settle down if that's what you want. Who cares if you scare away a few guys? If that scares them away you probably wouldn't have been a good match anyway.

Better to find out early on than after two years of dancing around commitment issues.[/quote]

thats what I am definitely trying to avoid. Im already 28. [/quote]

No one is saying wait 2 years before expressing you want something that will lead to marriage.   But saying it on the first few dates is going to push people away.  They're going to feel like you aren't interested in getting to know them or that they're being rushed.

I felt like that as a woman when I was dating with guys who were gung-ho on starting a family.  I felt pressured.  I wanted a guy who was interested in getting to know me, not someone who was just looking for someone who checked the boxes and would fit into his already well-established life plan.

I do know one couple who met online through a dating site, and they both clearly stated they wanted to get married and have kids.  They didn't date long, got married, have kids.  They seem happy enough b/c their kids are still young, but they don't really seem in love or really even interested in each other beyond the creating a family thing.  Maybe that works for them.  Or maybe it works now, but when they kids are older, it will fall apart.  Who knows.  I hope it works for them, but that's not really what I ever wanted out of a relationship.

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