Reply to Critique me: 28 yr old Af Am woman who wants marriage

Forum Index » Relationship Discussion (non-explicit)

Reply to "Critique me: 28 yr old Af Am woman who wants marriage"

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Don't express wanting to settle down early. [/quote]

I have heard this....why is this a kiss of death? [/quote]

It puts pressure on the relationship before there even is a relationship.

No one wants to feel like they're being interviewed to fill a position, and that's what it feels like when someone tells you early on that they are looking for a spouse.  It suddenly inserts expectation into the situation when you really should just be getting to know each other.

There is a point in the relationship when it's appropriate to talk about these things, but not the early stages of dating.   It's hard enough at that point just getting to know each other and getting past the facades people put up when they first meet each other (as in, being on best behavior).  You really need to reach a point where you feel you have started to get past the superficial stuff and are starting to know each other.  That's when it's appropriate to say that you are hoping the relationship will lead to more.

It's difficult to say when that is the appropriate time.  I'd say when you start sharing things that go beyond the basics that you'd put on a dating site, when you start to open up.  It's around the time when you feel like you've dated the person enough to make the step toward exclusivity (not dating other people).  That's when you say that you are hoping for a relationship that leads to marriage and a family.

[/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics