Reply to No Kids at Wedding - Why So Much Anger?!

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]From my experience with my brother's child-free wedding, I think the drama comes down to a difference of opinion on the point of a wedding.

I see weddings as a celebration with family and the people who matter most to you. It's a joining of two people into each other's families.

My brother and SIL see weddings as a big party to celebrate the couple.

I don't think either opinion is wrong, but people who think it's about family will often see "child-free" as selfishly excluding people who matter, and people who see it as a party for the couple will see "but my kids should be there" as selfishly making the couple's party about themselves.[/quote]

This. Weddings used to be about families. [b]In fact no friends were invited to weddings. It was parents, their siblings, grandparents and often community members.[/b] Parents paid and hosted. Weddings were held at local venues, so that everybody could attend. In a major way, wedding were not just about joining two families, but about procreation. Lots of kids at the wedding meant "good luck" for the couple.

Nowadays, as people marry later and pay themselves, the wedding is about the couple. All the destination weddings, elopement weddings etc. are about the couple and are not particularly comfortable for families to attend. It's common that not all aunts and uncles attend, if any. Friends are invited, because they're a large part of the couple's life. More moderns wedding will be child-free, because the couple is (most often) child-free and want to enjoy their big day. Also having kids is not a "compulsory" part of a marriage any more, hence there is no emphasis on kids. [/quote]

Friends were invited, but it was the parents' fiends, i.e., "family friends."  Or maybe that's what you meant by community members.  That's partly why we insitsted on paying for our own wedding, I wanted to invite MY frinds, not my mom's college roomate who I hadn't seen since I was 10.[/quote]

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