Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It doesn't affect you if other people have different feelings or responses. You don't need to understand it.

I had kids at my wedding. I've been to weddings with and without my kids. I RSVP according to what works for my family. But I don't care if other people care about this. Not my problem.

do you respond contrary to the invitation - so if the envelope is addressed Jenna and Jack Doe, you write back "five" because that's your family?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have a large extended family on my dad's side and find that my cousins all roll with it. Sometimes kids are invited, sometimes not, sometimes even if they are invited they/I leave the kids home anyway, because flying everyone to FL for a random October weekend doesn't always work.

Our attempted compromise was to invite kids in our families. The only people who questioned this were local friends/work colleagues who didn't want to get a sitter for the night.

At my wedding, we invited cousins' kids, but not friends' kids. Most of my cousins hadn't had kids yet, so it was easy to include them without ballooning the guest list. Now that they've all had more kids, I might limit it to just my nieces and nephews. I think as long as "categories" of people are all excluded, it's reasonable and fine. But it would be rude and offensive to say that Cousin A's kids are invited, but Cousin B's kids are not.

Anonymous wrote:I have a large extended family on my dad's side and find that my cousins all roll with it. Sometimes kids are invited, sometimes not, sometimes even if they are invited they/I leave the kids home anyway, because flying everyone to FL for a random October weekend doesn't always work.

Our attempted compromise was to invite kids in our families. The only people who questioned this were local friends/work colleagues who didn't want to get a sitter for the night.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:From my experience with my brother's child-free wedding, I think the drama comes down to a difference of opinion on the point of a wedding.

I see weddings as a celebration with family and the people who matter most to you. It's a joining of two people into each other's families.

My brother and SIL see weddings as a big party to celebrate the couple.

I don't think either opinion is wrong, but people who think it's about family will often see "child-free" as selfishly excluding people who matter, and people who see it as a party for the couple will see "but my kids should be there" as selfishly making the couple's party about themselves.

This. Weddings used to be about families. In fact no friends were invited to weddings. It was parents, their siblings, grandparents and often community members. Parents paid and hosted. Weddings were held at local venues, so that everybody could attend. In a major way, wedding were not just about joining two families, but about procreation. Lots of kids at the wedding meant "good luck" for the couple.

Nowadays, as people marry later and pay themselves, the wedding is about the couple. All the destination weddings, elopement weddings etc. are about the couple and are not particularly comfortable for families to attend. It's common that not all aunts and uncles attend, if any. Friends are invited, because they're a large part of the couple's life. More moderns wedding will be child-free, because the couple is (most often) child-free and want to enjoy their big day. Also having kids is not a "compulsory" part of a marriage any more, hence there is no emphasis on kids.

Anonymous wrote:I only see it as an issue in families where an invitation is a summons. Then people guilt trip you and lash out if you don't want to leave your children. If people just accept you may need to decline and you still are a welcome member of the family, it's no big deal.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It doesn't affect you if other people have different feelings or responses. You don't need to understand it.

I had kids at my wedding. I've been to weddings with and without my kids. I RSVP according to what works for my family. But I don't care if other people care about this. Not my problem.

do you respond contrary to the invitation - so if the envelope is addressed Jenna and Jack Doe, you write back "five" because that's your family?

Anonymous wrote:It doesn't affect you if other people have different feelings or responses. You don't need to understand it.

I had kids at my wedding. I've been to weddings with and without my kids. I RSVP according to what works for my family. But I don't care if other people care about this. Not my problem.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The thing with no kids rule is that where is the line? Not letting teens in is unfair.

The line is who the bride and groom choose to invite.
Maybe they think it's more fair to exclude "all teens" because there are 20 teens in the cohort and they can't pick and choose, and they can't have 20 extra places at the wedding for kids who, quite frankly, would probably rather be elsewhere.

Going to weddings is a core part of a lot of people's childhoods and excluding a 15 yr old for being a "kid" is extreme.

And having a kid free wedding and not paying for a bored teen to attend is a choice the bride/Groom get to make as well. Trust me, 99% of 15 yo would rather be at home, most are sitting on their phones some with headphones on the entire time.

IMO, you invite who you want to your wedding. If you want a 18+, then that is a great choice--it's your choice. And anyone who doesn't agree can feel free to simply reply "no" and stay home.

I don't get so many upset about teens not being allowed---you can easily leave them home/with friends for a weekend wedding. And if you don't want to, then reply NO

Teens aren't children.

If the B/G want a 18+ or 21+ wedding they are


How difficult is it to understand, the B/G get to pick. It's their wedding, they are hosting (or their parents are). When you host an event, you get to pick the guest list accordingly.
It's really a simple concept.

Of course it's their right. But then they can't get upset if/when guests decline.

Obviously

Most don't care if they get a not attending. And if you rsvp no you don't need a reason. No is a sentence

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Their ridiculous. My Junior DD was not invited to my cousins wedding, I told her my daughter was not a child anymore and that I would not attend.

My deciding to attend a wedding is not conditioned on other adults being invited.

You might be codependent.

That's weird. I think most people would be offended or annoyed if their spouse, an adult, was not invited along with them, at least to a close friend or family wedding.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Their ridiculous. My Junior DD was not invited to my cousins wedding, I told her my daughter was not a child anymore and that I would not attend.

My deciding to attend a wedding is not conditioned on other adults being invited.

You might be codependent.

That's her daughter though

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Their ridiculous. My Junior DD was not invited to my cousins wedding, I told her my daughter was not a child anymore and that I would not attend.

My deciding to attend a wedding is not conditioned on other adults being invited.

You might be codependent.

That's her daughter though

Anonymous wrote:That's weird. I think most people would be offended or annoyed if their spouse, an adult, was not invited along with them, at least to a close friend or family wedding.