Reply to Don't love my engagement ring

Forum Index » Relationship Discussion (non-explicit)

Reply to "Don't love my engagement ring"

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I have no idea what the difference is between those two halo rings. Can you explain?

Re: op - the unsympathetic perspective here is obvious.

The more sympathetic perspective is that this ring is probably a good metaphor for life together, as is your response here. How do you react when your partner's good faith, great faith, effort leaves you feeling disappointed?

If you can figure out how to manage your own disappointment, and your communication, in ways that don't blow the whole thing up - well, that's promising.
[/quote]

+1 this.

Your fiance did the best he could, you clearly have very specific tastes he didn't see.  As a DW, I  can see what you are saying when you point it out, but I would have made the same mistake.  And I have a custom made ring I picked out, so I do care.

You need to either a) accept that he did the best he could and came from the right place and move on or b) have it reset quietly to look like what you want or c) decide you don't want a lifetime of disappointment and move on.    Only you know which one is the right thing to do for you. [/quote]

This is OP. I don't wear any jewelry so I always knew my engagement ring had to be special because I would wear it forever. I emphasized it to him during the 4 years that we dated. How I actually cared about my engagement ring, not because I am materialistic ( I do not own any other jewelry) but because of sentimental value. I went with him to multiple jewelry stores and specified what kind of halo I wanted. We took pictures.

He still gave me the one I specified I did NOT like the look of.

Unfortunately there are other aspects of my relationship that I am also disappointed in. Not sure if I have crazy high expectations or they are legitimate grievances. 
[/quote]

I agree that if you pointed out the *exact* ring he gave you as one you didn't like that is problematic.  And if there are other disappointments, well that may really be telling you something.  If your gut is saying you are disappointed, you will be now and later, whether it seems rational or not.  So you should move on.  Maybe life will tell you that you made a hasty decision, but it's probably something you need to learn the hard way.

I also advise that if these rings are so special you should tell the next guy exactly what you want, down the the URL, and be honest that it's a quirk for you that you are hung up about and that you'll be more flexible about the wedding, where you live and other things.  He can take it or leave it (and you can take or leave his strengths and weaknesses) and be happier for it.

But please do return the ring when you break up with this guy.  You won't be wearing it anyways.
[/quote]

PP here again.  I should say though that realistically, I'm guessing he couldn't tell the difference between all the rings you showed him and you think this is the one you showed him but it's actually something else and while he tried, he guessed wrong.  Either way, the fact that you are hung up on this insanity really says that you just aren't that into him.  Save both of yourselves some time.  Move along.  And I agree with others, you need a break before trying again.  Life is going to deal you bigger lemons that this so figure out the important stuff before you blame it on something so silly as the virtually invisible minutiae of an engagement ring.
[/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics