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[quote=Anonymous]This is a complicated issue. Of course, we want our kids to know that healthy marriages involve sex. That doesn't mean we're OK with them hearing us have sex! I don't want *anyone* to hear me have sex, least of all other members of my family.

Frankly, when I was growing up, my family had a do-not-speak-of-sex-at-all environment, but my parents would nonetheless often get drunk and have very loud sex. Their door was closed. But in my mind I can still hear my mother's sounds. They were that loud--easily audible way down the hallway. For me, as a teenager, it was a very disturbing set of mixed messages--that sex is something we never talk about with you in any way, but we're going to get drunk and have loud moaning sex that surely we must know you can hear.

SO....OP, here is my advice for you. Go bed shopping. Beds are reviewed online for how "quiet" they are. Put on music, fans, loud TV. Routinely get "tired" early in the evening and tell your kids you guys are turning in early. I think as long as you make real efforts to be quiet, any stray sound they hear would be OK. But even in houses where families discuss sexuality in a healthy, normal way, I don't think teenage kids want to routinely hear their parents have sex so you should make an effort to be quiet if they are in the house.  [/quote]

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