I would never allow our teens to hear us having sex, although they do know that we do; we're married adults for crying out loud. They know about sex from school, movies etc. but I don't want that picture of us in their heads.

We often go in the bathroom or like others have said, turn the tv up.

It just occurred to me that most teenagers aren't going to hear anything anyway, because they always have earbuds in. All this fuss about nothing.

Some teens are weirded out by seeing their parents kiss. Parents should be sure to avoid kissing and hide it as much as possible.

This is a complicated issue. Of course, we want our kids to know that healthy marriages involve sex. That doesn't mean we're OK with them hearing us have sex! I don't want *anyone* to hear me have sex, least of all other members of my family.

Frankly, when I was growing up, my family had a do-not-speak-of-sex-at-all environment, but my parents would nonetheless often get drunk and have very loud sex. Their door was closed. But in my mind I can still hear my mother's sounds. They were that loud--easily audible way down the hallway. For me, as a teenager, it was a very disturbing set of mixed messages--that sex is something we never talk about with you in any way, but we're going to get drunk and have loud moaning sex that surely we must know you can hear.

SO....OP, here is my advice for you. Go bed shopping. Beds are reviewed online for how "quiet" they are. Put on music, fans, loud TV. Routinely get "tired" early in the evening and tell your kids you guys are turning in early. I think as long as you make real efforts to be quiet, any stray sound they hear would be OK. But even in houses where families discuss sexuality in a healthy, normal way, I don't think teenage kids want to routinely hear their parents have sex so you should make an effort to be quiet if they are in the house.

Anonymous wrote:

MikeL wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My guess is that OP doesn't really want to have sex. So, the kids hearing is just another roadblock thrown in the way so sex doesn't happen.

I think:
1. Tired in the evening.
2. Not a morning person.
3. Not while the kids are at home & awake.

might be the Triple Crown of excuses by the low drive spouse. Eliminates like 95% of the realistic sex opportunities. Throw in a period here and a headache there, and you can get sex down to once-a-month duty sex without having to spend much time giving your spouse excuses that make you feel bad.

I think you may have hit the nail on the head here.

The above could easily be my wife....

To quote my favorite Christmas movie, "Welcome to the party, pal." It's a pretty big club.

Anonymous wrote:At this point I would love to be getting it once a month. --sex-starved H

Put a pillow over her face so that neither you nor the kids will be inconvenienced by her screams, and go to it.

At this point I would love to be getting it once a month. --sex-starved H

MikeL wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My guess is that OP doesn't really want to have sex. So, the kids hearing is just another roadblock thrown in the way so sex doesn't happen.

I think:
1. Tired in the evening.
2. Not a morning person.
3. Not while the kids are at home & awake.

might be the Triple Crown of excuses by the low drive spouse. Eliminates like 95% of the realistic sex opportunities. Throw in a period here and a headache there, and you can get sex down to once-a-month duty sex without having to spend much time giving your spouse excuses that make you feel bad.

I think you may have hit the nail on the head here.

The above could easily be my wife....

Once a month sounds pretty good.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Unless it sounds like Tarzan of the jungle who cares if they hear?

What's the big deal if they hear? Oh no they might discover mom and dad are in love and like expressing that physically! The horror!

Keep the noise level respectful i.e. No monkey calling.

Close the door. They are old enough to knock and if they don't that will be a lesson to them.

Book a weekend away for monkey times.
The end.

Oh c'mon!! You know it would be awkward! I wouldn't want my teen to hear it either. That doesn't mean they don't know there parents have a loving relationship. I don't want my parents to hear me having sex either.

Are you people really this stupid?

No one here has said they want their kids to hear them have sex. They are saying it isn't the end of the world if it happens rarely. They are saying not to avoid sex because you might be heard.

I've heard my parents before not a big deal hardly the traumatic experience you and others have made it out to be.

I don't really care if my parents hear us. We don't try for it but we don't avoid sex for fear it might happen

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My guess is that OP doesn't really want to have sex. So, the kids hearing is just another roadblock thrown in the way so sex doesn't happen.

I think:
1. Tired in the evening.
2. Not a morning person.
3. Not while the kids are at home & awake.

might be the Triple Crown of excuses by the low drive spouse. Eliminates like 95% of the realistic sex opportunities. Throw in a period here and a headache there, and you can get sex down to once-a-month duty sex without having to spend much time giving your spouse excuses that make you feel bad.

If she doesn't want sex, Why would she start a thread for pointers?

She wants to be reassured that it's impossible and it's OK for her to give up.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Your teens are more worried about you hearing them masturbating than they are about hearing you have sex.

I am sure we can all think of things that we thought were mortifying about our parents when we were teens, but then we got over that feeling after we went off to college and grew up. Hearing them have sex is probably in that category.

We try to keep the screams of "YES!" and "GIVE ME WHAT I NEED!" to a reasonable minimum.

Uh, I still don't want to hear my parents have sex. Do you?

Meh. Doesn't bother me. More power to 'em.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My guess is that OP doesn't really want to have sex. So, the kids hearing is just another roadblock thrown in the way so sex doesn't happen.

I think:
1. Tired in the evening.
2. Not a morning person.
3. Not while the kids are at home & awake.

might be the Triple Crown of excuses by the low drive spouse. Eliminates like 95% of the realistic sex opportunities. Throw in a period here and a headache there, and you can get sex down to once-a-month duty sex without having to spend much time giving your spouse excuses that make you feel bad.

If she doesn't want sex, Why would she start a thread for pointers?

So she could tell her H, look, many other couples with teenagers at home are not having sex frequently, either.

Anonymous wrote:My guess is that OP doesn't really want to have sex. So, the kids hearing is just another roadblock thrown in the way so sex doesn't happen.

I think:
1. Tired in the evening.
2. Not a morning person.
3. Not while the kids are at home & awake.

might be the Triple Crown of excuses by the low drive spouse. Eliminates like 95% of the realistic sex opportunities. Throw in a period here and a headache there, and you can get sex down to once-a-month duty sex without having to spend much time giving your spouse excuses that make you feel bad.

I think you may have hit the nail on the head here.

Anonymous wrote:My guess is that OP doesn't really want to have sex. So, the kids hearing is just another roadblock thrown in the way so sex doesn't happen.

I think:
1. Tired in the evening.
2. Not a morning person.
3. Not while the kids are at home & awake.

might be the Triple Crown of excuses by the low drive spouse. Eliminates like 95% of the realistic sex opportunities. Throw in a period here and a headache there, and you can get sex down to once-a-month duty sex without having to spend much time giving your spouse excuses that make you feel bad.

If she doesn't want sex, Why would she start a thread for pointers?