Reply to Mom still talks trash about other woman (now dad's wife)

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[quote=Anonymous]I don't know. I can see a bit of both sides. Your dad was a first-class dick.  Seriously. I can see why your mom would be pissed and see your relationship as a betrayal. However, those are her hang-ups and she really, REALLY needs to be in therapy b/c this sort of lingering resentment is not healthy.

This is your dad. He has apologized. But, it's a fine line to walk b/c your mom was the "victim" here. So you do need to be sensitive to that but I think it is unreasonable for her to demand that you have no relationship with him.

The way we've dealt with this in my family -though it's not as bad as what you describe- is simply to tell my mother-in-law (and it was me b/c DH is very non-confrontational) to just stop.  She was spewing off about him on Xmas morning while DH was speaking to his dad on the phone and she was pissed about it.  I looked her in the eye and told her to stop it, this was his father, he loves his father and she was not helping.  No one was interested in her nasty comments. She did stop. For other big events, we've also told her that if she cannot get along and keep her mouth shut (e.g., baptisms, weddings, etc.) then she would not be invited and this was her decision.

This has worked relatively well. But, it also is different in that she had the affair that broke up the marriage (not that my DH's dad is easy. He is not.) MIL is in a worse position financially and relationship-wise that FIL with his wife and I think that grates on her.[/quote]

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