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[quote=Anonymous]It's crazy to expect you to haul your entire family, including you with a diagnosed anxiety issue about flying, all the way to Israel, a place you have little interest in visiting, just for your nephew's Bar Mitzvah.

Your brother is completely full of himself to pressure you by saying this one trip represents your commitment to Judaism and to the future of your relationship with him!! Total load of b.s.!!

Has your brother been in therapy? I suspect not.

Don't go, OP.

That you have taken long, expensive vacations in the past is irrelevant. Did someone else determine where and when you'd take those expensive vacations? I certainly hope not!!

The issue is not whether or not you can afford to take your family to Israel. The issue is being forced to do so because of family pressure. Your nephew is not graduating from a University, which would set the date for graduation for all students. This date has been set by your brother's family. Attendance is optional. If your brother claims it's mandatory, suggest he seek therapy for his control issues. And send him a couple links to therapists in his area.

Best of luck to you, OP. This is not that difficult a question. If it's too hard for you, send a nice gift, and don't go.

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