Reply to My neighbors think I'm an abused wife

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[quote=Anonymous]Hi OP,  I didn't go through the entire thread, but I really hope you got some good support and encouragement to pack a bag and get out of your situation.  It can be really hard, when we are habitually normalizing other peoples bad behavior, to realize that we are actually in a very *not normal* situation. OP, you are in an abusive situation.

As a psychotherapist who specializes in anger and relationships I can say, unequivocally, this will not get much better. Maybe a little better, and maybe enough to convince you to spend another few years dangling from the thread, but never enough to provide you with the stability and respect an adult relationship should offer.

The most telling part of your post is how much you are both doing to normalize his behavior. Instead of his acknowledging that he has a problem, he is blaming others on their lack of tolerance for his behavior. Nothing else will change until that does. As long as you stay, you remain (from his perspective) a sign that he is right and all is well enough.

For what it is worth, I was in a terrible relationship for all of my 20s. No abuse but tons of other issues. I ended it at 34 and feared I would be alone and miserable for years. I met someone at 35, we have 3 kids and a very solid and supportive relationship. [/quote]

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