Reply to No Respect for DH, and falling out of love.

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP here. Thanks for the thoughtful responses. You've given me a lot to think about and consider. Therapy just wasn't helpful because DH didn't take the tools we learned and apply them.

For example, his big gripe was finances. We agreed with counselor that he would find a financial planner and we would both go.... That was last March. The deadline we set was July 1 for DH to find the accountant and make the appointment because it was important to him. I agreed to go. July 1 came and went. It's now November 1 and he still hadn't found a financial person or made the appointment. This is why counseling didn't work. Even with the therapist he couldn't make good on a simple commitment. He just doesn't do anything!

Yes I have considered divorce, but he is a good father with the kids for the most part. And co-parenting with him through a divorce would be hell. I could never get him to agree to anything. And I wouldn't be in the position where I could easily just make the call because I would have court orders to include him in major decisions. And he doesn't make them.

I don't know why he is so afraid to make decisions even for himself and his own career. It's almost a paralysis. Or perhaps he doesn't want the responsibility because it's easier to blame Somekne else

No I am not a gold digger. I have a successful career and can easily support myself. I wanted more of a partner. Not a 40-something child who can't make a single decision. [/quote]

his fear and anxiety is more important/familiar to him than changing things. doesn't make him a bad person. but he's flawed. also, what i've used with my spouse (whose eerily similar) is that when he 'opts' not to do something, he's telling me to do it as the only other adult in the house. [/quote]

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